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'I'm talkin' to Pete, right, 'cept it was like he wasn't listenin'. Then, sudenly, he stands up, circles the campfire a few times and jumps right into the flames. Craziest thing ever, huh, Jessie? Jessie..?'

"Go ahead and eat her, she's a pain in the a**."

Fishing Tales

Thomas Hardy

The Tale of the Tape of the Tail.

"Well did he?"

Street signs you don't want to see.

"See what you get for thinking outside the fishbowl!"

Paul Bunyan gets the leg-lengthening Operation

"That's right kiddo, I'm one of the original band members of the Musicians of Bremen..."

Odysseus starts regretting his return to Ithaca.

"Didn't I warn you about buying medication from the internet?!"

'All this is nuthin! There was one yeaw up noth...when it snowed fah two yeaws! I had t'dig down ten feet t'haul in my lobstah traps.'

"Yes, I was using my mobile whilst driving... I was calling the police to tell them I was chasing a gang of bank robbers!"

The hare and the tortoise - the rematch.

"At long last, Wyatt, our dream has come true and we are within reach of the legendary toast fields of the Sierra Madre."

"So it was a performance enhancing drug."

"Pecos Bildungsroman"

"If the press brings up your past just double down on 'The sky is falling!'."

A Salmon Lie

"Why do you automatically assume that I'll fly too close to the sun?"

Captain Eddie's New Boat:'The insurance company laughed last year when I insisted on adding Kraken coverage.'

'Sure you always catch bigger fish than me. Your arms are a foot longer than mine.'

'That's right kids: I jumped through rings of fire when I was with the Circus!'

"Have you tried unplugging and plugging it back in?"

'He doesn't exaggerate, he just remembers big.'

"So I break free and I swear that hook was this big."

'He's lying about either a fish or his penis.'

"I must have hit 20 home runs!"

A Tale of the Sea

'Women don't simply believe everything we hear, you know.' - 'But that does not stop you repeating it.'

'I don't believe for one minute that an octopus crawled up last night and ate all the coconuts!'