Crash Test Comedian T-Shirts

Live To Crash, Crash To Live.

'That's what I like about you Roberts, you're not afraid to get out there and take a risk.'

"I've got a wall I need to get to, officer."

'Doctor, your road rage patient is here.'

Watch overhead if you want to improve product delivery. Bridge financing could figure.

When protons collide...

Alien crash test dummy emerges from downed UFO.

A Not So Grand Slam.

'That is one nasty whiplash!'

'How was my emergency stop?'

Danger: Reading warning signs costs lives.

Another use for retired sumo wrestlers: Roundabout ahead.

Cotton candy

Freak Accident Specialist

Toad roadkill.

Fall Rocks/Deer Crossing

"And hold the mayo."

'Do you remember what make of car it was, sir? -- We'll have to order parts.'

'It doesn't work...'

'I swear this self driving car is falsifying it's records to avoid an insurance rate hike."

'Number of days since last accident' a man is falling off of ladder while trying to post numbers...

"Well done!"

'Business has doubled since we organized that women's beach volleyball tournament across the street.'

The life of a crash-test dummy

"Of all the vehicles in heaven and you had to rear-end his car?"

Man crashes his car before leaving the driveway because he forgot his glasses.

'Oh, no -- not again!'

'Don't get involved.'

Please Don't Ask...

'Look dad! - Mercedes bends!'

"Don't worry. The mechanic says he can fix the car as soon as he gets it out of the wall."

'How come I never get to drive on our dates?'

"Wow! I didn't think we were going to make it through that gap!"

Crash dummy test lab has sign: 1039 days without an injury.

'Oh well, I had to take it in to get the oil changed anyway.'