Crafty Kid Gifts

'Your report card grades are poor. Maybe you should stop building model airplanes. The glue is getting to you.'

"It's a mobile."

"She's already on adult coloring books."

Afternoon crafts

Girl on a giant pair of scissors.

"I think he's going to be a bus driver - he loves cutting things up."

"It would seem running without scissors isn't much safer."

"Abstract Expressionism is definitely right for me at this stage of my career."

'Hi, Miss Henderson, we did collage in class today. Can you drive me home?'

Timmy had one heck of a security blanket.

Jr. cloning kit

"I was drawing a whale, but I ran out of paper."

"Isn't it an amazing co-incidence that this is an orange, and it IS ORANGE?"

'Does sports trivia count as something I learned today?'

Feeding of a giraffe with the use of a balloon.

'All good things must come to an end.'

"In school we learned about Staten Island. Is that where they make all those pills you take?"

I think he knows something that we don't know about the uranium molecule.

'You can fill your teddy bear with stuffing or with a demonic spirit summoned from the nether regions.'

"Since I became a creator on social media, fridge displays seem so passé."

'Mom! -- Jeffrey's pimping the wall!'

"Gracie's the only kid I know who offers El Cucuy under her bed a no-compete contract."

'It's more festive-looking!'

Abstract expressionist face painting.

The neighbors were not sure what to think of the young Picasso's snowman

Children's imagination

'I was six before I realized there were things you could do with Play Dough aside from eating it.'

"That' a wonderful picture, sweetheart. You know, maybe we should keep all of this garbage, in case you become a famous artist."

Homeschooling

'For no particular reason I want to know the location of our fire extinguisher.'

'Your stork story got me to thinking, Dad -- wouldn't it be simpler if people just did it like dogs and cats do?'

"Timmy, your dog looks just like he does in your drawings."

"Reverend, if we're born again in Jesus...do we get another belly button?"

'My mother's resolution is to eat more vegetables, and my resolution is to help her by giving her mine.'

"We like to think he's experimenting with color and form, but his art therapist suggested we're not giving him enough candy."