Crafty Comic Gifts

Why the long face?

'Great to see you taking up a new interest, besides men.'

Members of the Luddite community carving computers from solid blocks of oak and maple

I quilt therefore I am

"This is going to make the most amazing driftwood table."

'Don't order the Super Duper Jumbo Special.'

Night of the Latkes

'I knew there was part of the pattern missing!'

Peter Pan, the Utensil that Never Grew Up

MUSHROOM MASACRE.

'It's the report from the consultant. He says we should turn over the turnovers to improve turnover.'

Thou Shalt Not!

'This wine is dreadful - try some.'

"I'll have the spaghetti, does that come on toast?"

"I flunked out of cooking school. Even the dog won't eat my homework."

"Do you have any knitting patterns for somebody who can only count to five?"

"Out with the old fish, in with the new."

Potichomania (The art of decorating glass), as carried out by Master Tom in the Easter holidays.

"Today in school we learned how to glue!"

F&E Diner. Beer. Wine. This wine paralyzes the taste buds --- It goes with anything!

"Why don't I clang some utensils, make 3 grilled cheese sandwiches and we call it an early night?"

'How do you stop a fish from smelling?'

Onion operation.

'Our chickens are a real 'come back' story: raised organic, they hooked up with some seedy fowl, but then, thankfully, were saved by massive doses of antibiotics.'

'Are you sure you brought the right flat pack?'

"Tia Carmen, can you make a new dress for my doll?"

Ladies reading a crochet pattern for amusement

"Perhaps we should cleanse our palates first?"

Man Trying to Uncork Champagne.

'Say, Hon. . . the pizza's burning.'

"She's losing a lot of cream cheese. We're going to have to cut her open."

Amy Sedaris

Bottomless bowl of soup

"I want to apologise for calling this meeting on such short notice."

Woman knitting a washing line.