Crafty Comic Gifts

'Great to see you taking up a new interest, besides men.'

Members of the Luddite community carving computers from solid blocks of oak and maple

I quilt therefore I am

"This is going to make the most amazing driftwood table."

'Don't order the Super Duper Jumbo Special.'

Night of the Latkes

'I knew there was part of the pattern missing!'

Peter Pan, the Utensil that Never Grew Up

'It's the report from the consultant. He says we should turn over the turnovers to improve turnover.'

MUSHROOM MASACRE.

Thou Shalt Not!

"I'll have the spaghetti, does that come on toast?"

"I flunked out of cooking school. Even the dog won't eat my homework."

'This wine is dreadful - try some.'

Potichomania (The art of decorating glass), as carried out by Master Tom in the Easter holidays.

"Do you have any knitting patterns for somebody who can only count to five?"

"Out with the old fish, in with the new."

"Today in school we learned how to glue!"

Onion operation.

Man Trying to Uncork Champagne.

'Are you sure you brought the right flat pack?'

'How do you stop a fish from smelling?'

'Our chickens are a real 'come back' story: raised organic, they hooked up with some seedy fowl, but then, thankfully, were saved by massive doses of antibiotics.'

"Why don't I clang some utensils, make 3 grilled cheese sandwiches and we call it an early night?"

Amy Sedaris

"She's losing a lot of cream cheese. We're going to have to cut her open."

Ladies reading a crochet pattern for amusement

'Say, Hon. . . the pizza's burning.'

"Tia Carmen, can you make a new dress for my doll?"

Bottomless bowl of soup

Blog Breakdown

"I want to apologise for calling this meeting on such short notice."

Woman knitting a washing line.

"Yeah, uh, maybe you're not cut out to be the 'sparkly' kind of vampire."

'We've run out of Parmesan cheese.' Food in pasta.