Crafts Humorist Pillows

Potters wheel.

Football Chameleon

Do it yourself books.

"The Eggsorcist"

"Don't worry, Miss. I'll soon get the hang of it."

"I’ve heard of them barking at the moon, but never scatting at the sun."

The wooden clothes horse of Troy.

'Does this thing get channel four.'

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The opera - 'Please, sir, give us your ticket, if you ain;t a-goin' in again.'

'...And, from what I understand, they don't have any hard drive at all.'

"Ever since the layoffs, I feel like we've been doing the work of twenty clowns."

The mysterious ancient stone figures of Keister Island.

'The hard hats? In case of falling interest rates.'

'My analysis indicates the need for an asbestos-ectomy, electrical-graphs and a plumbing-bypass.'

"Mom, Dad, this is Kevin, our new ombudsman."

'Still workin' on the beard, Jerry?'

Gustav Holst

'I knew there was part of the pattern missing!'

"Yeah, uh, maybe you're not cut out to be the 'sparkly' kind of vampire."

"Wow! That's an amazing welding project!"

Dave, determined to go green by using only solar powered tools, will hereafter check weather reports before making bids.

"Our cat is the only god this home needs."

Artist uses connect-the-dots canvas to paint nude model.

'..and one for the pot.'

"It's not my fault - how was I to know you'd look scary with your clothes off?"

Knight with paint tin on his head.

"Hold still, it's a programme about making your own tv cabinet."

"Have we looked as though we know what it is, for long enough yet?"

'... And I'd like to thank my agent and everyone who voted for me... '

"So, Owen tells me you guys met in art school."