Crafts Humorist Gifts

Potters wheel.

I've been teaching art history for decades. Students today ask new kinds of questions. No, I doubt a gluten-free menu option was available that evening. Nope, the artist was not making a statement about climate change. No, despite the umbrellas, this is not about sun exposure safety. Well, yes, I suppose you can say it's a selfie.

Football Chameleon

Do it yourself books.

"The Eggsorcist"

The wooden clothes horse of Troy.

"I’ve heard of them barking at the moon, but never scatting at the sun."

"Don't worry, Miss. I'll soon get the hang of it."

'Does this thing get channel four.'

'...And, from what I understand, they don't have any hard drive at all.'

"[UNABLE TO PROCESS THIS IMAGE]"

The opera - 'Please, sir, give us your ticket, if you ain;t a-goin' in again.'

"Ever since the layoffs, I feel like we've been doing the work of twenty clowns."

'I'm not going to remind you again, Harold. Now, go get the garbage and bring it in here.'

The mysterious ancient stone figures of Keister Island.

'The hard hats? In case of falling interest rates.'

"Mom, Dad, this is Kevin, our new ombudsman."

'My analysis indicates the need for an asbestos-ectomy, electrical-graphs and a plumbing-bypass.'

'Still workin' on the beard, Jerry?'

Gustav Holst

'I knew there was part of the pattern missing!'

"Wow! That's an amazing welding project!"

I'll admit I haven't been waiting all my life to meet you, but I have waited through a rough pencil sketch, the inking process and Photoshop lettering. Surely that's worth something! !?!

Desperate Househusbands: 'Help! My wife left me with the kids for two minutes while she ran to the store. Help!'

"Yeah, uh, maybe you're not cut out to be the 'sparkly' kind of vampire."

Dave, determined to go green by using only solar powered tools, will hereafter check weather reports before making bids.

'... And I'd like to thank my agent and everyone who voted for me... '

Artist uses connect-the-dots canvas to paint nude model.

Knight with paint tin on his head.

"It's not my fault - how was I to know you'd look scary with your clothes off?"

'..and one for the pot.'

"Have we looked as though we know what it is, for long enough yet?"

"So, Owen tells me you guys met in art school."

Medusa's baby picture

"Our cat is the only god this home needs."