Crêpe Enthusiast T-Shirts

"It's not a Portuguese man-of-war. It's a breakfast crêpe."

"We can hit any creperie you want, sonny boy."

'That guy is a total crepe.'

"...But ASIDE from that, how was your trip to France?"

'Your stab at ordering the wine in French went well.'

Garlic Free Zone.

"The prices they charge here, you'd expect them to have an oven not just a gas ring!"

'Some idiot's pulled the plug out!'

Eugene Ionesco

'Yes, I speak perfect English, I have to 'cause you English are too bloody lazy to learn French!'

"Man does not live by chips alone. There's also guacamole."

'The escargots are underdone.'

"Our French chef just quit, so instead of the crepes you ordered, I made a breakfast burrito."

'The crepes of wrath.' 'Joad's mobile pancake store.'

'A packet o' crisps, and have one for yersel'.'

"Last time I ordered Rock and you ordered Paper, so this time..."

"Are you enjoying your escargot?"

'Perhaps monsieur found the Vichyssoise 'crunchy' because the soup bowl was not edible.'

'Do you want me to serve you with a French accent or in just plain English?'

"I only allow myself one after a meal - I'm now down to 43 meals a day!"

"Cheese fondue has gone wherever crepes Suzette and tuna Mornay went."

'The accountants can wait, Tell them I'm tied up in a meeting with representatives from Pomerol Pommard,'

Robinson le Creusot

'Did monsieur enjoy the meal?' - 'I could get more nourishment biting my lip.'

'You have to pick up your game: My dentist says you've neglected to clean my back teeth...'

I love French.

'Look at me!! I'm standing!! I'm standing!!!'

"The bird feeder is empty again."

'You have no pension. Have you thought about running a pension in France?'

A Scene at the Lucullus.

"I've learned not to listen to critics who are right about me."

''Romantic'? No -- but it makes me feel like having a CROISSANT!'

At the French Cafe.

Parakeet Quarrels

"Well, you howler monkeys sure know how to attract a waiter's attention..."