Cpr Enthusiast Pillows

'I hope you all appreciate the irony in this.'

"Next time you give CPR try not to use your tongue."

'OK, now let's be careful out there.'

"I'm going to need a little more for the root cause than, who'da thunk."

"And you're certain these are accidents?"

Dog Dreams

'I guess my brain just started to really care about itself.'

Baby on board.

'You're right. Our old safety files have become a safety concern.'

"Could you all please pay attention while I go through the emergency procedure. . ."

On the brink.

Two people in hazmat suits lie in bed

'Good thing it has a child-proof cap.'

"Helmet, check. Harness, check. Knee and elbow pads, check. You may now push the swing."

'Your CV says in your last job you were responsible for...'

Being Serenading in Casualty

Caution signs.

Job Safety - Pumpkin.

Mother hen driving with 'Eggs on Board' sign.

Health and safety notice falling on builder.

Daddy showed me why I should always wear my bicycle helmet!

'Whoa! This was supposed to be an easy merit badge!'

"Rescue someone; rescue yourself"

"I think I found a location for our vacation."

'Sorry, we can't offer you a job but we would like to publish your CV.'

Dogs Aren't/Are Just For Christmas

'News headline: Britain unsafe to bring up young children.'

"Now that's a great number if you want to be protected from the entire environment."

'Yeah, the job's got great benefits, but mainly I like the safe work environment.'

'Can't you give the dummy mouth to mouth without getting romantically involved Mrs Wilks?'

'Not without your helmet, you're not!'

'Gentlemen, I'd like to introduce you to our new 'health and safety' officer.'

'Some idiot's pulled the plug out!'

'My mum drives me to school. She says it isn't safe to walk with all the cars.'

Darn it - Every time I try to text, my smart car pulls to the side of the road.