Cozy Winter Walker Gifts

The Non-erotic Adventures of Patty Williams

Snow flake

"That thermostat I bought is smart. It knows how cheap I am, so it keeps our home freezing."

"Whaddaya say we head home and curl up in front of a nice warm football game?"

"I guess families do come in all shapes and sizes."

'It doesn't take much to please him these days.'

Relaxing in front of a fire.

'Mom, what setting do you use for warming up slippers?'

'I got a good place in my exams today. Right next to the radiator.'

'I take back everything I said about this sweater you knitted for me.'

Oh yeah! It does echo when you moo very loudly!

'It's okay, Mom. I won't need an extra blanket tonight.'

"Looks like someone forget her lunch today."

"Snowflakes that stay on my nose and eyelashes..."

"When it's extremely cold out, I prefer flambés to winter stews."

"Humans are crazy! Like life is not hard enough in winter, they have to make artificial snow!"

"Ugh, that happens every time she sees a squirrel."

"It's a midriff warmer."

'I wish you'd put the heater back on Frank! Even the wall ducks have gone somewhere warmer!'

"Can we forget about our dainty little tracks in the snow for five seconds and try to concentrate on what we're out here for?"

How Sheep Sleep

I hate the spring ritual of not being able to wear a bulky sweater to cover the weight I've gained during the winter.

"I needed something warmer for winter."

'I'm not putting it out. There's enough oak in this Chardonnay to keep this fire going all night.'

"It's bad to sleep on a full stomach..."

"I've kept both of my New Year's resolutions! Three donuts a day and more time in my pyjamas!"

Black and white painting.

"Your 'winter slump' excuse is wearing a little thin!"

"Is there something wrong with the car, Mom?"

'The way you bundle me up, the only thing going outside is my nose.'

"Are they still following us?"

"Crazy drivers. That guy nearly hit us"

'Global warming or not, it's still freezing here...'