Cozy Parent Pillows

Soccer Uniforms

"Look Mommy, hat!"

"I’ve tried to make this as painless as possible ... clearly I’ve failed."

"He's not talking yet, but sometimes we give him peanut butter to make it look like he is."

'She's just great with the children.'

"Mom! Don't think of me as covered with sand. Think of me as sugar coated."

Romance

"Wow, these slippers are really warm!"

'Garfield has told the oil companies to go to hell.'

'The kids were so sweet...'

"I told you. . . use your inside miming."

Dancing in pyjamas

Dog Park / Cat Park

'I go to St. Patrick's Church, I go to St. Patrick's School, and my name is Patrick. Is it also necessary for me to eat green food?'

'I was an egg in the Easter play.'

"Whose turn is it to lick the knife?"

Pappa clown views offspring in maternity window.

"I'll be a little late. I'm working a double shift."

"Have mercy on me, Mama. Have mercy on Mr. Pitiful."

"Werewolves of London..."

"But if I don't break stuff who will?"

'A generous layer of vaseline makes an excellent tickle repellent!'

"Soon you'll be sucking your thumb AND tying your shoes...they call it multitasking."

'Care to gaze upon the peaceful blanket of snow before I send the kids out?'

'Where do I put the batteries?'

'If you can keep him clean for a day you can sleep in his bed tonight.'

Baby tells other Baby to call.

What do you want, the moon on a stick?

"You have a co-pay...two cookies and a glass of milk."

"Well, my dog cleans himself that way!"

His and Her wardrobe's

'Hi Dad. I want you to meet Mr. Hacketal, my attorney.'

Circus Act

'We're playing trampoline, mom.'

Real Estate Krisp Flakes: Location! Location! Location!