Light-hearted Parents Pillows

'You can stop looking-I just remembered I didn't wear my retainer today. Funny, huh?'

'I'm Jeremy's father. I'm a computer consultant and I'm unemployed.'

"He's not talking yet, but sometimes we give him peanut butter to make it look like he is."

"Actually, I'm really looking for blessings that aren't in disguise"

'The kids were so sweet...'

In case of Emergency: Break Glass

"Boy, do we hate to see this... I'm afraid your child's entire body is an 'innie'."

"But if I don't break stuff who will?"

'Baby's first two-step.'

'Your wife has given birth to the blues.'

"Study her closely...the laughing eyes, the dimpled smile...she's got 'em right where she wants 'em."

"He looks just like your husband."

"See what happens when you go swimming after eating!"

The Wright brothers discover the first nightmare flight

'I must be going through a mid-life crisis.'

'Oooh, Jimmy, the teacher put another throwing star on your paper! Great!'

'I knew you would come crawling back.'

'He spoke his first words today Serge - 'ello. . . ello. . . ello'!'

Children's Nursery

'Mom can I have another apple?'

Martians looking at Earth - 'One day son, all this will be yours.'

"It took the better part of seventeen years, but you finally get me."

"I don’t see how confirming who I like best will help this situation."

Husband and Child in Pram

'Next time your kid has a party, blow up the balloons with an airpump!'

'My wife and I can't have dogs!'

"No dessert until you eat all your candy."

Half-A**ed Publishing Presents...

"And this is Joshua, he'll be a hundred and forty-seven months next week."

'Go forth and multiply!'

'He said his first buzz word today!'

Playerpen - 'Naptime already?'

"Look what I found in the garage! My old music speakers!"