Cowboy Storyteller T-Shirts

"Go away, he's not done playing Cowboys and Indians yet."

"This town ain't big enough for the proposed outlet shopping mall at Millet Creek Pass."

The Cowboy Way; Doing the Right Thing

"Can't we ride off in another direction?"

"I broncobust and I Dust-Bust. You got a problem with that?"

"I learned ridin', I learned cowpokin' and I learned how to eat and sleep under the stars. But, dag nab it, I never learned any geology."

"Are you the one they call El Cóndor?"

"Mom, Dad - I'm a sidekick. I've always been a sidekick. And I want you to know that I have a pardner."

The Not So Wild West

Cowboy directions 'Up yonder', 'Down yonder', 'This-A-Way' and 'That-A-Way'.

'Well, so much for our legendary ability to eviscerate cattle with surgical precision...'

Sea Horse outside saloon

(Maps to the Homes of the Steers) (Maps $ 100)

Civil Howdy Pardnership

"I made partner!"

Wild West Text Showdown

'I AM a cowboy so therefore they ARE cowboy boots, OK?'

"They say it's the last of the really big cattle drives, and I'm just glad I'm here to see it."

'I don't like it... It's too quiet.'

"Well of course you're depressed... You're a country and western singer."

'Oh yeah. He's the fastest in the west alright. The fastest out of town, at the first sight of trouble.'

"And what if I don't want to be Jack or Ennis?"

Cowboy

"This horse comes with all the hardware necessary to be fully autonomous."

Jasper's Limo Service.

'This is as close to a round up I'll ever get.'

"You must be new around here, pardner."

Adios Amoebas

"An accountant? No son of mine is going to be an accountant! You'll be an octopus wrangler like your old man, and like it!"

"What's the problem Cowboy? Never heard of Cattle Driving before?"

'It's Colonel Bowie, Davy... he cut himself again.'

"I love hearing that lonesome wail of the train whistle as the magnitude of the frequency of the wave changes due to the doppler effect."