Cowboy Gifts

"Next Christmas, I drive the cattle, you go see Mom."

"I don't care how good he is. Ain't nobody can get a short on Jeffrey."

"No one is making you do anything you don't want. I'm just saying we're all headed for Dodge City and we think you should come along."

"There's no milk foam design on my coffee."

"How are you fixed for oats?"

"All hat and no cattle but, my god, what a hat."

'Pilates. Yoga. Maybe a new strain of tai chi. Whatever! We've got to end it before the entire herd is infected.'

"Bank's closed today, folks. It's Yom Kippur."

"I don't care what the job pays. . . I'm never herding cats again!"

'Judging by those smoke signals, they know we're here and they're not afraid of us!'

"Oh God, yes! I've been a bad cow! Such a bad, naughty cow! Again! Yes!"

Cowboy with arrow in hat shouting 'CUPIDS!'

'You refuse to admit someone stole your horse, don't you?'

'You must be the new guy around here.'

'The streets of Dodge City fell eerily quiet as the market researchers strode into town.'

"I'm sorry-this is literally my first rodeo."

Mike Thins Out The Herd. 'Now kick those hooves up to the sky...and, one, and two, and...'

"First we get a bunch of cows."

'You fellas know what the code of the west is? I need it to get online.'

'I love that new horse smell.'

'Sorry, pardner...your vehicle doesn't meet the size requirement for our state!'

'Just so you know . . . when that gate opens, I'm going to stop, drop, and roll. Big time.'

'I still want to be a cowboy.'

'Look at that crazy cowboy, Butch, he's talking to his horse!'

"I'm coming - I just need some 'me' time."

'You can lead a horse to water, son, but try not to drive him to drink.'

"It's not so much riding off into the sunset as it is heading west till my asthma improves."

'Now that's confidence!'

Cowboy uses his hat for a private kiss.

"Y-y-yep."

"Yippee - I - O. Over?"

'I have nothing against the old standard. But I get more laughs with the bolo tie.'

Yonder

"I broncobust and I Dust-Bust. You got a problem with that?"

This crisis!