Cowboy Gifts

"Next Christmas, I drive the cattle, you go see Mom."

"I don't care how good he is. Ain't nobody can get a short on Jeffrey."

"No one is making you do anything you don't want. I'm just saying we're all headed for Dodge City and we think you should come along."

"There's no milk foam design on my coffee."

"How are you fixed for oats?"

"All hat and no cattle but, my god, what a hat."

'Pilates. Yoga. Maybe a new strain of tai chi. Whatever! We've got to end it before the entire herd is infected.'

"Bank's closed today, folks. It's Yom Kippur."

"Oh God, yes! I've been a bad cow! Such a bad, naughty cow! Again! Yes!"

"I don't care what the job pays. . . I'm never herding cats again!"

'Judging by those smoke signals, they know we're here and they're not afraid of us!'

Cowboy with arrow in hat shouting 'CUPIDS!'

"I'm sorry-this is literally my first rodeo."

'The streets of Dodge City fell eerily quiet as the market researchers strode into town.'

'You must be the new guy around here.'

'You refuse to admit someone stole your horse, don't you?'

"First we get a bunch of cows."

'Now that's confidence!'

'I still want to be a cowboy.'

'Just so you know . . . when that gate opens, I'm going to stop, drop, and roll. Big time.'

"I'm coming - I just need some 'me' time."

Cowboy uses his hat for a private kiss.

"It's not so much riding off into the sunset as it is heading west till my asthma improves."

'I love that new horse smell.'

'You can lead a horse to water, son, but try not to drive him to drink.'

'Look at that crazy cowboy, Butch, he's talking to his horse!'

Yonder

"Yippee - I - O. Over?"

"I broncobust and I Dust-Bust. You got a problem with that?"

"You're going to have to do something about your vehicle's emissions."

"Yes, I have a home where the buffaloroam. Are you in the market?"

"Y-y-yep."

Cowboy philosophy.

"Are we there yet?"

'I have nothing against the old standard. But I get more laughs with the bolo tie.'