Cowboy Enthusiast Gifts

"Next Christmas, I drive the cattle, you go see Mom."

"Yes, I can help you with your loan questions. I'm the loan arranger."

'No kidding? When I was a boy I wanted to grow up to be an accountant too!'

"Say your prayers, liturgies, Tefilah, Daily Salat, Sacred Mantra, Ritual Incantation or the secular affirmation of your choice, Varmint!”

'Just so you know . . . when that gate opens, I'm going to stop, drop, and roll. Big time.'

"I broncobust and I Dust-Bust. You got a problem with that?"

'Cause I'm a cowboy in a steel pen I hiiiiide and I'm wanted grilled or stir-friiiiied!'

"Tell us again how you took five thousand head out to Kansas City and made it back in time to pick up the kids from gymnastics."

"Alright, if Outlaw A is 6 foot 2, 220 punds and Outlaw B is 6 foot 4, 245 pounds, is Town C in fact big enough for the both of em?"

'For the last time. First we catch out man, then we go on a wine tour.'

'I'm wearing it because you said you were going to teach us how to draw.'

'I'm out of silver bullets again, Tonto -- take my mask and hold up another stagecoach.'

"Decaf. They can't be far away."

The Cone Ranger

"I take it this means Westerns are making a comeback."

"You'll find them a very friendly tribe."

Cowboy reading letters at opticians spell YEEHAAA!

Saloon Selectives

'You're awfy easily provoked, are you no?' 'Them's fightin' words!'

Noisy Neighbours.

"An accountant? No son of mine is going to be an accountant! You'll be an octopus wrangler like your old man, and like it!"

'Stranger, I'm giving you until sundown to get off my foot.'

'They're using honey to draw us out! Fortunately, they underestimate our willpower.'

Though near death, Zeke took comfort in knowing that his Vitamin D level had never been higher."

"I learned ridin', I learned cowpokin' and I learned how to eat and sleep under the stars. But, dag nab it, I never learned any geology."

"Not tonight, hon—I've got a heartache."

"Your more successful brother is already here."

"So, Slim, where did you learn to shop like that?"

"Because you're not naked, and you're not a cowboy, that's why!"

"I'm on the range, but I'm not home on the range."

Happy Trails: "That's Sibelius, what an hombre."

"This is where our trails divide, Luke. You have my E-mail address, right?"

Lassoing Office Chairs

"Can't we ride off in another direction?"

Ronald Reagan