Cow Story Teller Gifts

'A lot of my stories involve milk.'

The Ferocious Viking Wiener Dog

Bubble Gum Farms.

'She's just great with the children.'

"When I first arrived, Young Master was always with me and Old Master didn't want anything to do with me, nor it's the opposite: Go figure..."

'Wake up, dear...did you order extra milk?!'

'Roy! For the last time, don't wave that red one in front of your Dad.'

Where 'Pastor'-ized Milk Comes From...

"They’re real."

Pull the udder one

"We would like to be genetically modified to taste like Brussels sprouts."

Cow writer.

"You're wondering why I've called you here."

'He's the best bull I've ever had.'

'He tells me there's one chapter of his memoir titled, 'My Likeable Master'.'

'Mama! Aliens.'

We come in pieces!

"Kind words help the dairy cow produce good milk. They go in one ear and out the udder."

'The first day on the job was not going well for Al...'

Sorry, I thought you said you wanted to see 'Parrot Normal Activity'

'I'm about to die and now I realise I have REALLY BAD breath!'

"What do you mean I eat as though I was born in a barn? I WAS born in a barn."

"Stop playing dumb, young man. I wasn't pulled out of a hat yesterday."

'Other than no dognip or an indoor bathroom, I enjoy being a dog.'

Snowman carrot substitute.

"Forget George, he scarfs down everything in sight. Aunt Rose and Grandma are good for slipping us a slice. Most important, the kids are sloppy. We're bound to find some juicy scraps under their chairs. Stay alert!"

Farmer Pickles hated it when the cows hummed Darth Vader's theme tune.

"I got the cream, but the bulk of the old lady's estate is going to auction."

'Your barn door's open.'

Therapy for the cow dependent

"I kid you not, he shot that duck right over the middle of the lake and said 'fetch'! Do you have any idea how cold that water is?!"

'Oh, shut up!'

'Was that yours Clarrie, or one of mine?'

'With a herd of three cows it doesn't take long for inventory, does it, Dad?'

'Tarzan'