Cow Conversationalist Gifts

'If they don't care about the deforestation, then I don't care about the methane gas.'

It's not enough just to 'milk me'...what's my motivation? Do I want to be milked?

My mum was telling me they have some wild Christmas parties round here!

"Finding a needle in a haystack sounds like a dream job."

It's a major bummer, but on the plus side Paul McCartney gave me his number.

'Was that yours Clarrie, or one of mine?'

A cows' cow

"I've given up on trying to improve the quality of my milk: It just ends up mixed with milk from other cows in a big vat..."

"There's really not much to obedience school. Just listen up and do what they say."

"For the girls—Kimberly, Caitlin, Lauren, Cindy, and Tracy. For the boys—Cameron, Christopher, Adam, Jeffrey, and Gregory."

'Wake up, dear...did you order extra milk?!'

"When I first arrived, Young Master was always with me and Old Master didn't want anything to do with me, nor it's the opposite: Go figure..."

"Ever feel like even when you're barking at something you're still barking at nothing?"

"Sorry I'm late. I overslept." "Is that even a real word?"

"I've told you why I need a dog. Now suppose you tell me what makes you think you might be that dog."

"Hello? Is that the canine help line?...."

"I've never had a bird's eye view of anything."

"They’re real."

"This may surprise some of your viewers, but I didn't actually want to go into the box."

"Could you tell me how to get to cedar grove, New Jersey? I want to see where my grandfather was born."

"Do you think the birds like me?"

"Defense budget... Do you have any idea how much catnip $700 billion would buy?"

Pull the udder one

"We would like to be genetically modified to taste like Brussels sprouts."

"Are you happy with your current ball?"

"Then he suggested we go to a leash optional beach."

We come in pieces!

"You're wondering why I've called you here."

'Mama! Aliens.'

'He's the best bull I've ever had.'

"Kind words help the dairy cow produce good milk. They go in one ear and out the udder."

"I'm not a mad dog. But I'm not particularly happy either."

"If you could live your life all over again, what dead animals would you roll in?"

"Now, let your inner ‘bad dog’ answer the question ..."

"I just don't get it, they don't do it themselves, so why do they insist on us sitting before crossing the road?"