Courtroom Yogi Gifts

Transcendental Litigation

"Do you guys serve beer?"

Yoga classes door.

"I'm trying to achieve total harmony of body, mind and cashflow."

'Do you really think shoulder-to-wheel and nose-to-grindstone are valid yoga positions?'

'It's easy, Greg. Just get in touch with your inner regional sales manager.'

"How long were you in that headstand?"

"Slowly begin to reawaken the body with thoughts of unread E-mails, piles of dirty laundry, and the kids you have to pick up from school."

'Euro's down against the pound, dollars up against yen, pound is... what the hell don't expect cheap meals in France!'

"I've had a lot of free time this year."

'So the yoga classes are working out pretty well for you then?'

'Thanks to your Yoga classes, my usual state of catatonic stupor is easily mistaken for deep deliberation.'

"Frankly, counselor, I don't care how stressful this is for your client—tell him to get out of that damn yoga position."

'To become ONE with the Universe, you must first become COMPLIANT with the Universe!'

I've been so stressed, I'm getting back into yoga. Good idea! We all need peaceful time to center and renew the soul. Go for it! I would, but � My workout duds are totally last year. We have catalogs for that.

"Complaining empowers us."

"Remember, ladies, if you're doing this right, you shouldn't be able to do it."

Downward Dog

Om, I will kill him, ooommm. Om, I will kill him, ooommm... Jack would later be charged with premeditated murder

Yogi Comedy: A yogi comedian tells a yoga joke. '...is this thing aum?'

'I'm on my break right now -- can you come back next February?'

'Now relax and imagine your body slowly melting into the ground.'

'Marvin Quinn - Attorney at Law - Jury Whisperer.'

Santa Yoga

Melting Heart Pose

Meditating on Cacti

Cat Yoga

Celebrity Yoga.

In the name of the natural law

"All right, guys - Meditate till you feel the burn!"

"The advice was free. But the office visit was a hundred bucks an hour."

'In addition to 16 cup-holders it comes equipped with four dedicated yoga mat storage areas.'

Zen and the Art of Interest Rate Adjustment

"We're meant to be doing the tree pose."

"Okay....WHOSE NOSE HAIR IS WHISTLING???"