Courtroom Confounder T-Shirts

Jury foreman decides using a coin flip.

'This is my partner. He'll be taking care of the small print.'

"Our new associate asks how much of a fee is too much. Do you want to handle this or shall I laugh in his face?"

'Look -- I'm willing to forget about all this if you are.'

'I request an postponement, Your Honor -- I have to study for my bar exams.'

'Court's in recess!'

"Judgement Day: Division Four"

'It wasn't long before Larry realized his calling as a lawyer whisperer...'

"He's actually my co-counsel, but you may scratch his head."

"When it comes to medical malpractice, most lawyers only go for the money... ...I go for the doctor's head."

"Bailiff."

'Can I sue someone because I didn't win my lawsuit?'

"I'm sorry, sir, but I've got to ask you another question. I heard someone in the courtroom shout out the correct answer."

'He's not called the 'Hanging About Judge' for nothing.'

"Permission To Treat Prosecutor as Hostile, Your Honor?"

Portrait of a Serial Attorney.

"Better that a hundred guilty men go free than one innocent man be convicted, right?"

"Just one more outburst and I can have this chicken tenderized."

"The ignorance of the lawyer is no excuse."

Justice 4 Ron

'They named special prosecutors to investigate each other.'

"Your Honor, prior to sentencing, if it please the court, I'd like to make just a few brief remarks about pâte brisée."

'Let's try it again. And this time, don't cross your fingers.'

'I object, Your Honor! Hearsay evidence!'

'Oh, he's been a bad dog all right - why else would he lawyer up?'

"...And the court awards you twenty five thousand for the loss of faculty in your right arm."

'I got a suspended sentence.'

"'If you can't say something nice, don't say it at all' doesn't work with a grand jury."

Arrogant junior barrister

'Have you seen the ruddy margins the Chinese expect us to take up for this work?'

'Ignorance of the law is no excuse, dummy!'

"He says: If they're smart enough to hire a top lawyer and sue us for having wet floors then they're smart enough to look where they're *%&$* going..."

'Is there any chance I could do the five years vicariously?'

'It's all just an unfortunate misunderstanding, Your Honor, it was 'Talk Like a Pirate' day, and,,,,'

'Yeah? -- Well, there's a thin line between being a strict constructionist and being a stupid jerk!'