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The man who thought 'legal advice' meant legal advice

Trial by Media

'Whe they said 'God is my Judge', I didn't realize He was a real attorney.'

Solicitor speaks legal jargon and has a translator who tells client: 'You haven't a hope!'

"Counsel for prose is overruled. Poetry, you may continue."

"Objection, Your Honor! Alleged killer whale."

'I request an postponement, Your Honor -- I have to study for my bar exams.'

Questions about an old case refuse to go away. . .

I love Lawyers

'Court's in recess!'

"For the sake of not being redundant, your honor, I feel that one 'bad dog' is sufficient."

"Judgement Day: Division Four"

'It wasn't long before Larry realized his calling as a lawyer whisperer...'

"Now that's a win."

"He's actually my co-counsel, but you may scratch his head."

"Since you have already been convicted by the media, I imagine we can wrap this up pretty quickly."

'Normally, I hate a rush to judgement - but I'm doing this case pro bono.'

"You can't plead cute."

'Your Honor, my client would like to wave his right to a speedy trial.'

"We make crime pay."

"I must insist on my lawyer present."

"Objection, your honor, my client's feelings are being hurt."

"#notguilty."

'Who says justice has to be the only thing on tap?'

'Wow! I never before saw such a strenuous objection.'

'Your Honor, in order to avoid being sued, we find the defendant 'Not guilty.''

"The jury didn't buy my defense that CEOs just want to have fun."

Yawning barristers in court

"The prosecution shall stop referring to the defendant as 'the alleged, totally guilty as sin guy'."

A baby in court

"Well, heck! If all you smart cookies agree, who am I to dissent?"

'The next case Your Honor, is a palimony suit. The ant vs the grasshopper.'

"And finally, I implore the jury not to take my clients lack of alibi and blatant lies out of context."

Sue The Bastards

'I couldn't help noticing that nobody swore YOU in!'