Courtroom Jokers T-Shirts

Solicitor speaks legal jargon and has a translator who tells client: 'You haven't a hope!'

'I request an postponement, Your Honor -- I have to study for my bar exams.'

'So Captain Ahab, I put it to you that you were deliberately stalking my client!'

'I got an alleged C on my criminal law test.'

'Court's in recess!'

"For the sake of not being redundant, your honor, I feel that one 'bad dog' is sufficient."

'It wasn't long before Larry realized his calling as a lawyer whisperer...'

"Just for the heck of it, how do you plead?"

"He's actually my co-counsel, but you may scratch his head."

"Bailiff."

Junior barrister prompting a deaf and testy chief

"Not guilty but prepared to settle out of court, your honour."

"You can't plead cute."

'Your Honor, my client would like to wave his right to a speedy trial.'

"Objection, your honor, my client's feelings are being hurt."

"#notguilty."

'Who says justice has to be the only thing on tap?'

'Your Honor, in order to avoid being sued, we find the defendant 'Not guilty.''

"Gimme a 'D'! Gimme an 'N'! Gimme an 'A'!"

'This court finds you guilty Mr. Jones. As your punishment, the bailiff here will slug you one.'

'Can I sue someone because I didn't win my lawsuit?'

"Helen, I have decided to seek a change of venue, since it has grown increasingly obvious that I can no longer get a fair trial in this household."

"Have you, or any of your acquaintances, ever been described as 'frolicsome'?"

"I must insist on my lawyer present."

Lawyer to bad hair lady: 'It's difficult to establish pain and suffering based on a bad hair day.'

"Never mind what I did, Your Honor. I want to be judged for who I am, as an individual."

'You can't reject my manuscript without due process!'

"The prosecution shall stop referring to the defendant as 'the alleged, totally guilty as sin guy'."

'I'd like to go back to law school and pay attention this time.'

A baby in court

"Why won't you cuddle?"