Courtroom Chameleon Gifts

'All of them are for billing.'

"Our new associate asks how much of a fee is too much. Do you want to handle this or shall I laugh in his face?"

"Permission To Treat Prosecutor as Hostile, Your Honor?"

"I'm not leading the witness; I'm winding up my segment on heinous crimes!"

'We find the defendant to be dead meat.'

'You didn't 'win' anything, just declared not guilty.'

"I wouldn't want to be in your shoes."

Law and Lunacy; Or, a Glorious Oyster Season for the Lawyers

'I'll show you my fine print, if you show me yours.'

"When he left, he took all his things, including his name on the door."

"Smile if you're guilty!"

'It's not so much to protect his identity - he's just ugly.'

How Lawyers Evolved.

The Ins and Outs of childhood

"Case dismissed."

'He's a very special prosecutor.'

'No kidding? You don't wear anything underneath either?'

"A cashier told me to have a nice day and I didn't. Am I liable or can I sue her?"

'With the threat of ABS's competing for Council work is going to get even harder...'

"Yes, many of us have had life changes since you switched focus to Environmental Law."

'Did you or did you not make my client laugh so hard that milk came out his nose, causing the kids at his cafeteria table to laugh at him?'

"When I'm with you, Miss Lawson, the billable hours just fly by."

'I'll tell you what worries me -- What if they name a special prosecutor, and HE starts naming special prosecutors?'

'When the going gets tough, the tough SUE.'

'Objection! He keeps talking. How am I supposed to get his mouth right?'

"I have an interview with a law firm. I hope to make an impression."

"Promise? No more shenanigans?"

'After 30 years around here, Jenkins has the ability to assume the colors of his environment.'

'I'm suing my way through law school.'

"So... that's how lawyers get away with it."

'I was a far-right winger. . . a moderate right winger. . . a centrist! But the real me is a flip flopper!'

Lawyer practical joke: 'DISBAR ME' taped on back.

"I'm your Fairy God lawyer and will grant you three Gloria Allreds."

"Ello, ello..& ello

"Your honor...the only reason my clinet committed these crimes was to support his wife and five kiids."