Courtroom Antics Admirer Gifts

'Your Honor, my client pleads not guilty by reason of Sarah Palin.'

I love Lawyers

'Normally, I hate a rush to judgement - but I'm doing this case pro bono.'

"I've learned something in this trial. My firm needs to hire that prosecutor."

"I object!" "Overruled!"

"This is my client's videotaped deposition—please be considerate and rewind after viewing."

"The prosecution shall stop referring to the defendant as 'the alleged, totally guilty as sin guy'."

"Well, heck! If all you smart cookies agree, who am I to dissent?"

"I've asked you not to overrule me in front of the children."

"In a just world we'd have 'No Lawyer Left Behind'."

'The Grand Jury doesn't understand me...'

The Birth of a Lawsuit

'Don't blame the lawyer!'

'You're the watchdog. Do you honestly expect us to believe you didn't see anything?'

"...And the court awards you twenty five thousand for the loss of faculty in your right arm."

'At first it was a few dollars here and a few dollars there. Then I realized I'd have to pay my lawyer.'

"I'm popping out for a tinkle."

'Every day, I'm suing better and better...'

"Give a man a fish, he'll eat for a day. Teach a man to sue, and he'll eat for a lifetime."

"In my client's defence, the label on the bottle clearly read, 'rat poison'...not 'people poison'."

Criminal Stupidness

"Let's take in a trial."

Judge

"Not guilty, Your Honor, on the basis of a previously undiagnosed and untreated case of Integrity Deficit Disorder!"

'He'll be really p****d if he doesn't get nominated for an award this year.'

'Sorry, but I do not recall that incident either.'

'Great. Another trainee lawyer.'

'I've never sued anyone but I bet I'll be good at it.'

"Love is grand... divorce is a hundred grand."

AMERICAN CIVIL LIBERTIES UNION ACLU, HELP TAKE A BITE OUT OF LAW, 'I like it!'

He was good. Real good.