Courtroom Antics Admirer Gifts

'Your Honor, my client pleads not guilty by reason of Sarah Palin.'

I love Lawyers

'Normally, I hate a rush to judgement - but I'm doing this case pro bono.'

"I've learned something in this trial. My firm needs to hire that prosecutor."

"I object!" "Overruled!"

"This is my client's videotaped deposition—please be considerate and rewind after viewing."

"The prosecution shall stop referring to the defendant as 'the alleged, totally guilty as sin guy'."

"Well, heck! If all you smart cookies agree, who am I to dissent?"

"In a just world we'd have 'No Lawyer Left Behind'."

'The Grand Jury doesn't understand me...'

The Birth of a Lawsuit

"I've asked you not to overrule me in front of the children."

'You're the watchdog. Do you honestly expect us to believe you didn't see anything?'

'Don't blame the lawyer!'

"...And the court awards you twenty five thousand for the loss of faculty in your right arm."

'Every day, I'm suing better and better...'

"I'm popping out for a tinkle."

Say what? Johnnie Cochran died in 2005?

'At first it was a few dollars here and a few dollars there. Then I realized I'd have to pay my lawyer.'

RBG, RGB, CMYK

"Give a man a fish, he'll eat for a day. Teach a man to sue, and he'll eat for a lifetime."

'Let's agree to disagree.'

"Let's take in a trial."

"In my client's defence, the label on the bottle clearly read, 'rat poison'...not 'people poison'."

Criminal Stupidness

'He'll be really p****d if he doesn't get nominated for an award this year.'

There's no such thing as "The Fruit Basket Defense." By any chance, are you referring to "The Fruit of the Poisonous Tree"? That's evidence that was obtained by an illegal action and must be considered inadmissible. Yeah! What you said!!!

AMERICAN CIVIL LIBERTIES UNION ACLU, HELP TAKE A BITE OUT OF LAW, 'I like it!'

No offense intended your honor…It just seemed like this case screamed for a frivolous law suit…

"Not guilty, Your Honor, on the basis of a previously undiagnosed and untreated case of Integrity Deficit Disorder!"

Judge

"Love is grand... divorce is a hundred grand."

'Sorry, but I do not recall that incident either.'

'I've never sued anyone but I bet I'll be good at it.'

'Great. Another trainee lawyer.'