Couples Pillows

Chez Pretentious Restaurant - All you can pronounce ?25.

Rorschach's parents

'I have this feeling we've forgotten something.'

"On the web it said four stars, but I can see at least seven."

'You don't need to remind them every time that the bubble's going to burst.'

Mixed Doubles.

Man with self-assembly wardrobe and lots of random pieces: 'Funny how there always seems to be a few bits left over.'

"I'm sorry I used three squirts of washing up liquid instead of two."

Fight or Flight

'We still have a few minor issues to work out: I want a huge wedding and he wants to be single.'

The causes of mood swings are generally hormonal..

'Be My Valentine'

'And don't you touch that mammoth in the freezer. I'm saving it for company.'

"Sometimes I feel the only thing keeping us together is our fear of the children."

'We have three small children, do you sell these things by the dozen?'

"I told your parents I would convert."

'That one was taken on our wedding day, when he was young, handsome and in love. That other one was taken when he was older, more mature and a pain in the neck.'

"...for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death or litigation do you part?"

'As near as I can figure something bad happened and they're both in on it.'

'I'm just saying if our nanny can afford a nanny then we're paying too much.'

'Who said romance is dead? I Just downloaded a screensaver with red roses and chocolates for your PC!'

"They're a very hi-tech family. Apparently, even their baby was cordless."

'Wake up honey, I can't sleep!'

'It used to be a nightmare getting him to sleep and then we discovered chloroform.'

'The brochure says there's a military base nearby.'

'We've decided to forgive you.'

'Well I think everything is in order, congratulations on your new home!'

'Hi, honey?we're home!'

Warm Hearts Adoption Agency: Humans and Highways.

"To you, O mighty ocean, we offer up the remains of our vacation foodstuffs in gratitude for an excellent summer experience."

'Do you have one that plays the theme from Godzilla?'

"You've got one of my dresses on again."

'If you can't hear her why don't you turn the volume up'

Woman with a bomb shadow

"We adopted a highway, but it's just not the same thing."