Couples Whisperer T-Shirts

'Frankly, it was only when I came to work here that I realised there was anything missing in my marriage...'

"Nope, I still only have one bar."

A Tit for Tat.

He then drew a number of smaller pie charts behind the bigger chart. That helped to put it into perspective.

"Remember, she had twins, so I go in first, and then you follow about 3 minutes later."

'He's a catch for any woman - there's so much to re-mould'

'It WAS rather unkind of you to hide his bottle-opener, Mrs Jones.'

Harris, our Annual Report has been criticised for lack of clarity - well done.

Relationship Issues.

"Well, at first I didn't like him. But then his creepiness just grew on me."

'He's never there for me.'

'There's a bear on line one and a bull on line two. Who do you want me to put through first?'

'I think both of you are always too busy: You don't talk anymore...'

"We could have a Do-It-Yourself wedding! Your friends could do the cake and flowers, Uncle Jim could do the photos..."

"Mom can really push my buttons. She installed them."

"Living brings up a lot of issues for him."

"Just got back from the client meeting and great news. . . your work isn't dead. It's beaten senseless and run over by a dump truck...but still very much alive."

"Your first job is to learn to recognize your boss' voice on the phone."

'There's so little understanding. Why can't we all just get along?' 'Get a long what?'

"Excuse me for a moment. It's my idiot husband."

'Why are they called the opposite sex?'

'Any time I ask him to do anything around the house he always has the same response.'

Man with sticker on back reading 'Wife's point of view on board'

"Kevin's job as a train announcer seriously affected his love-life..."

'Actually the twins are not hard to tell apart. When I put them down, the one that cries is Dennis.'

Interpreters.

"If only girls came with drop-down menus and online help. . ."

"He likes to make clients feel important..."

'She thinks I'm always trying to put her down, but what does she know?'

'I want all of you to pay attention as though your job depended upon it.'

"Can't you keep your parenting to yourselves?"

'It's silly to jump at the first man who comes along.'

"Before you know it, they'll be all grown up and moved to Brooklyn."

"I don't believe I'm having this conversation."