Marriage Whisperer T-Shirts

'They completely exploded during the session, so either of them should be eager to hire you. Remember, I get 10 percent!'

"Are you still going to love me when we're old and divorced."

Darling, we really should talk some time."

'I wanted 'Mr Right', not 'Mr Always-bloody-right'!'

'Is that opinion accredited?'

'Any time I ask him to do anything around the house he always has the same response.'

No kicking: 12-6 Mon-Sun

He then drew a number of smaller pie charts behind the bigger chart. That helped to put it into perspective.

Mum and the Sleepless Baby

This is Dr. Sadie, what's your question, caller? I just found out my wife got a bonus at work. But instead of buying gifts for my mother and my six brothers, she flew to Maui and sent me a photo of herself eating a seven-course meal. Stop whining. She's given you the best gift a spouse can give ... Something to hold over her head for the rest of your lives. Well ... There is that, I guess.

I used to love coming here. Nudist beach.

Get out of the way, Harold - I'm trying to talk to Cuddles.

'He's a catch for any woman - there's so much to re-mould'

'It WAS rather unkind of you to hide his bottle-opener, Mrs Jones.'

"I hate 2:00 am feedings."

"Till death us do part? Don't be so bloody morbid!"

"Dang, there goes another piece of the wife's good china. You see father, it's

Harris, our Annual Report has been criticised for lack of clarity - well done.

Relationship Issues.

'He's never there for me.'

"Well, at first I didn't like him. But then his creepiness just grew on me."

'I think both of you are always too busy: You don't talk anymore...'

"He takes after your mother"

"The sellers recommended that I burn some sage during the tour."

'U. . .S. .U. .C. .K. . . . L. . O. . L.'

"You'll be able to talk to your husband. I have video conferencing."

"We could have a Do-It-Yourself wedding! Your friends could do the cake and flowers, Uncle Jim could do the photos..."

'...and where did you bury the bone?'

"Living brings up a lot of issues for him."

"I'm the ghost of Christmas Tree Future, and honestly, it doesn't turn out well for you."

'Why are they called the opposite sex?'

"Excuse me for a moment. It's my idiot husband."

When psychiatrists do self analysis.

Ask Sadie. Dear Sadie, I am a 24-year-old man. The woman I am about to marry is having second thoughts because she believes that we are too young. What do you think? - Jacob. Actual reader letter. Great question. When is the right time to marry? Randy, our commitment expert, would you like to handle this one? Jacob, really, what were you expecting?! Medic! Randy's not moving.

'A work in Progress.'