Couple Whisperer T-Shirts

"As a marriage counselor, I dealt with husbands and wives. Now I don't know what to call them."

"Here's what I'm gonna do."

"Nope, I still only have one bar."

He then drew a number of smaller pie charts behind the bigger chart. That helped to put it into perspective.

'Well, I'm not very satisfied with our customers, either.'

'He's a catch for any woman - there's so much to re-mould'

"Remember, she had twins, so I go in first, and then you follow about 3 minutes later."

'It WAS rather unkind of you to hide his bottle-opener, Mrs Jones.'

Harris, our Annual Report has been criticised for lack of clarity - well done.

Relationship Issues.

"Well, at first I didn't like him. But then his creepiness just grew on me."

'He's never there for me.'

We don't want statistics that reflect the actual market situation. We want statistics that reflect what was decided in this boardroom!

'There's a bear on line one and a bull on line two. Who do you want me to put through first?'

'I think both of you are always too busy: You don't talk anymore...'

"We could have a Do-It-Yourself wedding! Your friends could do the cake and flowers, Uncle Jim could do the photos..."

"Living brings up a lot of issues for him."

"Just got back from the client meeting and great news. . . your work isn't dead. It's beaten senseless and run over by a dump truck...but still very much alive."

"He works well with everyone except customers and co-workers."

'There's so little understanding. Why can't we all just get along?' 'Get a long what?'

'Then again - no pain, no gain.'

"Excuse me for a moment. It's my idiot husband."

'Why are they called the opposite sex?'

"It's important to see 'beyond the obvious' when you look at a customer. . ."

"Kevin's job as a train announcer seriously affected his love-life..."

'Any time I ask him to do anything around the house he always has the same response.'

"That last customer thinks I should fire you."

'Mom, Dad, it's nice of you to visit me at the store, but you know, I am working.'

Man with sticker on back reading 'Wife's point of view on board'

'Actually the twins are not hard to tell apart. When I put them down, the one that cries is Dennis.'

"Don't worry Sir, you're not the first person to ask for a refund and you probably won't be the last!"

Interpreters.

"If only girls came with drop-down menus and online help. . ."

This is Mr Smith from Big Data Mining. He says he's found an insight.

"He likes to make clients feel important..."