Relationship Whisperers T-Shirts

"It's our large menu for married couples who have run out of things to say to each other."

"We know you've been married for 60 years! What's your secret?! Talk!"

He then drew a number of smaller pie charts behind the bigger chart. That helped to put it into perspective.

'Well, I'm not very satisfied with our customers, either.'

This is Dr. Sadie, what's your question, caller? I just found out my wife got a bonus at work. But instead of buying gifts for my mother and my six brothers, she flew to Maui and sent me a photo of herself eating a seven-course meal. Stop whining. She's given you the best gift a spouse can give ... Something to hold over her head for the rest of your lives. Well ... There is that, I guess.

'He's a catch for any woman - there's so much to re-mould'

'It WAS rather unkind of you to hide his bottle-opener, Mrs Jones.'

Harris, our Annual Report has been criticised for lack of clarity - well done.

Relationship Issues.

"Well, at first I didn't like him. But then his creepiness just grew on me."

'He's never there for me.'

'I called you in to talk to you about your son not being able to sit still.'

'I think both of you are always too busy: You don't talk anymore...'

"Your first job is to learn to recognize your boss' voice on the phone."

"Living brings up a lot of issues for him."

"He works well with everyone except customers and co-workers."

"We could have a Do-It-Yourself wedding! Your friends could do the cake and flowers, Uncle Jim could do the photos..."

'Then again - no pain, no gain.'

'Why are they called the opposite sex?'

"Excuse me for a moment. It's my idiot husband."

"It's important to see 'beyond the obvious' when you look at a customer. . ."

'We're projecting a profit, but not within our lifetimes.'

Interpreters.

'Mom, Dad, it's nice of you to visit me at the store, but you know, I am working.'

'Any time I ask him to do anything around the house he always has the same response.'

'Are you hiding something from me?'

"If only girls came with drop-down menus and online help. . ."

"That last customer thinks I should fire you."

"Kevin's job as a train announcer seriously affected his love-life..."

"Don't worry Sir, you're not the first person to ask for a refund and you probably won't be the last!"

This is Mr Smith from Big Data Mining. He says he's found an insight.

'I want all of you to pay attention as though your job depended upon it.'

'She thinks I'm always trying to put her down, but what does she know?'

I'm starting to think you keep working on that thing just to avoid talking to me.

"I don't believe I'm having this conversation."