Couple Whisperer Gifts

"As a marriage counselor, I dealt with husbands and wives. Now I don't know what to call them."

"Here's what I'm gonna do."

"Nope, I still only have one bar."

He then drew a number of smaller pie charts behind the bigger chart. That helped to put it into perspective.

'Well, I'm not very satisfied with our customers, either.'

'He's a catch for any woman - there's so much to re-mould'

This is Dr. Sadie, what's your question, caller? I just found out my wife got a bonus at work. But instead of buying gifts for my mother and my six brothers, she flew to Maui and sent me a photo of herself eating a seven-course meal. Stop whining. She's given you the best gift a spouse can give ... Something to hold over her head for the rest of your lives. Well ... There is that, I guess.

"Remember, she had twins, so I go in first, and then you follow about 3 minutes later."

'It WAS rather unkind of you to hide his bottle-opener, Mrs Jones.'

Harris, our Annual Report has been criticised for lack of clarity - well done.

Relationship Issues.

'He's never there for me.'

"Well, at first I didn't like him. But then his creepiness just grew on me."

We don't want statistics that reflect the actual market situation. We want statistics that reflect what was decided in this boardroom!

'There's a bear on line one and a bull on line two. Who do you want me to put through first?'

'I think both of you are always too busy: You don't talk anymore...'

"We could have a Do-It-Yourself wedding! Your friends could do the cake and flowers, Uncle Jim could do the photos..."

"Living brings up a lot of issues for him."

"He works well with everyone except customers and co-workers."

"Just got back from the client meeting and great news. . . your work isn't dead. It's beaten senseless and run over by a dump truck...but still very much alive."

'There's so little understanding. Why can't we all just get along?' 'Get a long what?'

'Then again - no pain, no gain.'

'Why are they called the opposite sex?'

"Excuse me for a moment. It's my idiot husband."

"It's important to see 'beyond the obvious' when you look at a customer. . ."

Interpreters.

"Kevin's job as a train announcer seriously affected his love-life..."

"If only girls came with drop-down menus and online help. . ."

Man with sticker on back reading 'Wife's point of view on board'

"Don't worry Sir, you're not the first person to ask for a refund and you probably won't be the last!"

'Mom, Dad, it's nice of you to visit me at the store, but you know, I am working.'

"That last customer thinks I should fire you."

'Any time I ask him to do anything around the house he always has the same response.'

'Actually the twins are not hard to tell apart. When I put them down, the one that cries is Dennis.'

This is Mr Smith from Big Data Mining. He says he's found an insight.