Couples Whisperer Gifts

'Frankly, it was only when I came to work here that I realised there was anything missing in my marriage...'

"Nope, I still only have one bar."

A Tit for Tat.

He then drew a number of smaller pie charts behind the bigger chart. That helped to put it into perspective.

"Remember, she had twins, so I go in first, and then you follow about 3 minutes later."

This is Dr. Sadie, what's your question, caller? I just found out my wife got a bonus at work. But instead of buying gifts for my mother and my six brothers, she flew to Maui and sent me a photo of herself eating a seven-course meal. Stop whining. She's given you the best gift a spouse can give ... Something to hold over her head for the rest of your lives. Well ... There is that, I guess.

'He's a catch for any woman - there's so much to re-mould'

'It WAS rather unkind of you to hide his bottle-opener, Mrs Jones.'

Harris, our Annual Report has been criticised for lack of clarity - well done.

Relationship Issues.

'He's never there for me.'

"Well, at first I didn't like him. But then his creepiness just grew on me."

'There's a bear on line one and a bull on line two. Who do you want me to put through first?'

'I think both of you are always too busy: You don't talk anymore...'

"Your first job is to learn to recognize your boss' voice on the phone."

"Mom can really push my buttons. She installed them."

"We could have a Do-It-Yourself wedding! Your friends could do the cake and flowers, Uncle Jim could do the photos..."

"Just got back from the client meeting and great news. . . your work isn't dead. It's beaten senseless and run over by a dump truck...but still very much alive."

"Living brings up a lot of issues for him."

'There's so little understanding. Why can't we all just get along?' 'Get a long what?'

"Excuse me for a moment. It's my idiot husband."

'Why are they called the opposite sex?'

Man with sticker on back reading 'Wife's point of view on board'

'Actually the twins are not hard to tell apart. When I put them down, the one that cries is Dennis.'

Interpreters.

"If only girls came with drop-down menus and online help. . ."

"Kevin's job as a train announcer seriously affected his love-life..."

'Any time I ask him to do anything around the house he always has the same response.'

"He likes to make clients feel important..."

'She thinks I'm always trying to put her down, but what does she know?'

'I want all of you to pay attention as though your job depended upon it.'

'It's silly to jump at the first man who comes along.'

I'm starting to think you keep working on that thing just to avoid talking to me.

"Before you know it, they'll be all grown up and moved to Brooklyn."

"I don't believe I'm having this conversation."