Couples Therapy Warrior Pillows

"Well, Janet, it sounds like it's important to Ed, so maybe you could pay attention to how he did on every hole for at least the front nine."

"We have three house blends: 'One More Chance', 'Forget About It' or 'I'll See You In Fun Court'."

Their marriage in jeopardy, Strawberry Shortcake and Billy Bob Banana Bread seek therapy.

"Have you tried binge-watching a show together?"

"No, no - it was great. It's just that sometime I'd like to try it missionary style."

'Now what brings you lovely people here?'

Relationship Warning Lights

"I love it when we clear up issues between us."

She - Interpreter - He.

'... And it's been ages since he last swashed his buckle!'

You got what you deserve … you deserve each other.

Battle of the sexes in a relationship

'Your inferiority complex is better than mine.'

"He refuses to talk and he never listens."

"Y'know, I don't know what I'd do without her, but I'd sure like to find out."

'My brother's a proper cook - he's come as a witness'

"It's a major fixer-upper. How's your marriage?"

'Henry, we can't begin to make progress unless your friend leaves the room.'

Your Home Remodel Team

'While it's often said that laughter's a better medicine, I've learned that crying is best in solving disputes between husbands and wives.'

Duvet nailed to the floor.

"I suppose we should start with listening skills!"

'We need to talk about your fear of commitment, Ralph.'

"I'm putting you on entry level anxiety meds."

Personal Relationship Counsellor

"See how controlling he is?!"

"When I first met him, he was my knight in shining armour. But, he hasn't been near the metal polish in years!"

Express Therapy

"Agreed. We'll reduce our arsenal of insults, jibes and grievances by one-third but will be permitted to stockpile them for use should the need arise."

Richard and Wendy Kozier, of Saddle River, New Jersey, with U.N. Peacekeeping Contingent

"You see?"

A woman thinks of flowers and a man thinks of a prison cell.

'I agreed to a relationship coach, not a referee.'