Couples Therapy Enthusiast Pillows

'I wonder if you'd go out with me. I've always wanted to go to couples therapy.'

"We have three house blends: 'One More Chance', 'Forget About It' or 'I'll See You In Fun Court'."

Their marriage in jeopardy, Strawberry Shortcake and Billy Bob Banana Bread seek therapy.

"Have you tried binge-watching a show together?"

"No, no - it was great. It's just that sometime I'd like to try it missionary style."

'Now what brings you lovely people here?'

Relationship Warning Lights

'... And it's been ages since he last swashed his buckle!'

"Homosapius amorius... the common lovebirds."

Battle of the sexes in a relationship

Incompatible.

"Y'know, I don't know what I'd do without her, but I'd sure like to find out."

Two Rages Passing in the Night

"He refuses to talk and he never listens."

'My brother's a proper cook - he's come as a witness'

"It's a major fixer-upper. How's your marriage?"

'Henry, we can't begin to make progress unless your friend leaves the room.'

'She seems to think I only have one thing on my mind.'

Your Home Remodel Team

Duvet nailed to the floor.

"I suppose we should start with listening skills!"

'Now that hunting season is over, I'd suggest separate vacations.'

'We need to talk about your fear of commitment, Ralph.'

'Have you two taken the COSMO 'compatibility test'?'

'While it's often said that laughter's a better medicine, I've learned that crying is best in solving disputes between husbands and wives.'

"See how controlling he is?!"

Personal Relationship Counsellor

"When I first met him, he was my knight in shining armour. But, he hasn't been near the metal polish in years!"

Express Therapy

Richard and Wendy Kozier, of Saddle River, New Jersey, with U.N. Peacekeeping Contingent

"Agreed. We'll reduce our arsenal of insults, jibes and grievances by one-third but will be permitted to stockpile them for use should the need arise."

'I agreed to a relationship coach, not a referee.'

"I know marriage is a partnership, but I didn't realise I'd be the silent partner."

"I just wish that, for once, when he asked me what I wanted, it wasn't followed by 'for Christmas?'"

"Oh, you were on automatic pilot? And what about her? Was she on automatic pilot, too?"