Attending Couples Therapy Pillows

"Look at you—folding the laundry two days before couples therapy."

"He refuses to talk and he never listens."

'I don't like to play the blame game, but if HE hadn't been born we wouldn't be having marital problems now.'

'He gets very defensive.'

"We have three house blends: 'One More Chance', 'Forget About It' or 'I'll See You In Fun Court'."

Their marriage in jeopardy, Strawberry Shortcake and Billy Bob Banana Bread seek therapy.

"Have you tried binge-watching a show together?"

"No, no - it was great. It's just that sometime I'd like to try it missionary style."

'Now what brings you lovely people here?'

Relationship Warning Lights

"I love it when we clear up issues between us."

She - Interpreter - He.

"Well, you both sleep eighteen hours a day, so try to coordinate this to find a window for some quality time together..."

You got what you deserve … you deserve each other.

'... And it's been ages since he last swashed his buckle!'

Battle of the sexes in a relationship

'We never go anywhere together except here.'

'My brother's a proper cook - he's come as a witness'

"Y'know, I don't know what I'd do without her, but I'd sure like to find out."

"It's a major fixer-upper. How's your marriage?"

'Henry, we can't begin to make progress unless your friend leaves the room.'

Your Home Remodel Team

Duvet nailed to the floor.

'While it's often said that laughter's a better medicine, I've learned that crying is best in solving disputes between husbands and wives.'

"I suppose we should start with listening skills!"

'We need to talk about your fear of commitment, Ralph.'

"See how controlling he is?!"

"When I first met him, he was my knight in shining armour. But, he hasn't been near the metal polish in years!"

Express Therapy

Personal Relationship Counsellor

A woman thinks of flowers and a man thinks of a prison cell.

Richard and Wendy Kozier, of Saddle River, New Jersey, with U.N. Peacekeeping Contingent

"Agreed. We'll reduce our arsenal of insults, jibes and grievances by one-third but will be permitted to stockpile them for use should the need arise."

'I agreed to a relationship coach, not a referee.'

"You see?"