Couples Therapy Survivor Pillows

"He seems to get bored so easily."

"We have three house blends: 'One More Chance', 'Forget About It' or 'I'll See You In Fun Court'."

Their marriage in jeopardy, Strawberry Shortcake and Billy Bob Banana Bread seek therapy.

"Have you tried binge-watching a show together?"

"No, no - it was great. It's just that sometime I'd like to try it missionary style."

'Now what brings you lovely people here?'

Relationship Warning Lights

"What do you want to talk about first...the kleptomania or the hoarding?"

She - Interpreter - He.

Pony express. Pony express yourself. Pony express yourself so much he left.

"...until death do you a favor."

Battle of the sexes in a relationship

'... And it's been ages since he last swashed his buckle!'

Two Rages Passing in the Night

"Y'know, I don't know what I'd do without her, but I'd sure like to find out."

"He refuses to talk and he never listens."

'My brother's a proper cook - he's come as a witness'

"It's a major fixer-upper. How's your marriage?"

'Henry, we can't begin to make progress unless your friend leaves the room.'

Your Home Remodel Team

'She seems to think I only have one thing on my mind.'

'We need to talk about your fear of commitment, Ralph.'

'While it's often said that laughter's a better medicine, I've learned that crying is best in solving disputes between husbands and wives.'

"I suppose we should start with listening skills!"

'Have you two taken the COSMO 'compatibility test'?'

My therapist cured me of using humour as a defense...these days I pack a .45.

"See how controlling he is?!"

"When I first met him, he was my knight in shining armour. But, he hasn't been near the metal polish in years!"

Express Therapy

"I got over DDT, and I'll get over you!"

"Agreed. We'll reduce our arsenal of insults, jibes and grievances by one-third but will be permitted to stockpile them for use should the need arise."

Richard and Wendy Kozier, of Saddle River, New Jersey, with U.N. Peacekeeping Contingent

'I agreed to a relationship coach, not a referee.'

"Me Tarzan; you Jane - no role play!"

'He's not the man I married. In fact, none of them are.'