Country Tunes Fan Gifts

'The grass is always bluer to a banjo pickin bovine!'

A cat has caught a cow which it is dragging through it's cat flap.

'Cock-a-doodle-do!'

Songs about Texas, next 1100 miles.

"It's God's country, if your god wears camouflage and dips tobacco."

Bashful in Nashville

'I took your advice and got a long little doggy.'

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'I can't write cheating songs because my wife's too insecure.'

"That was definitely mine."

"I'm putting you on country music."

For every moment in life there is a song that describes it perfectly.'

"I'll be broadminded up in heaven, but here on earth you're still a whore..."

'I'll never forget the night I saw you across the crowded room of a dusty ol' honky tonk.'

'Woke up this morning found someone had stolen my guitar...'

Towny Music Night.

"This is Kevin. Kevin was uncool before uncool was cool."

"What do you mean I eat as though I was born in a barn? I WAS born in a barn."

"It's bad, Doc. the voices in my head are singing country western."

"The harmonica! Boy you're lucky, my cowboy plays the double-bass! I tell you what, it's a pretty awkward thing to carry around..."

"Well of course you're depressed... You're a country and western singer."

A Modern Day Cowboy and his Horse.

Supply was out of harps.

Hip-Hopalong Billy Bob blamed the censors for killing the country-rap scene.

Where the deer and the antelope play.

'This next song is called Reindeer farts in my face all night.'

The Invention of Country Music.

"Not tonight, hon—I've got a heartache."

Here's a little number I wrote from bitter personal experience...