Country Sophisticate Gifts

Cosmopolitan cows: 'Hay!'

High Riders of the Old West

"I can remember when having a '212' phone number still meant something in this world."

'No, that's not my shaving lotion. We've been burning cow chips in the wood stove.'

"You're famous, Angus."

"Ernie's full service salon and day spa."

'At least they can't touch the village local' say two country gents. The pub now has a sign on the window saying 'This is now a smoke free pub, also no dogs or horsey types!'

'Oh God I hope that bunch of rednecks aren't waving at me!'

Home Sweet Second Home.

...Well I've got to make sure I REALLY like where I am.

'You had me at OOOO-AARRR!'

A newspaper stand in a rural area.

FREE-RANGE CIRCUIT TRAINING

The Cattle show Week.

For every moment in life there is a song that describes it perfectly.'

"Well, the hills were alive with the sound of music...I'm sure!"

"Gesundtheit, Dear."

'Now, just repeat the injections three times daily and avoid any stress.'

"Let me guess...you forgot to put their hand-brakes on!"

"Do you have one with a bigger mud room?"

Mr Tom Noddy's First Day With the Hounds Pt. 1

"Well, well, looks like we got ourselves a coupla city types here, and a couple more city types right behind 'em, and a whole mess o' city types transferrin' to the Queens-bound F train."

A recurring crisis at the Farkinski farm

St Bernard Toilet Holder

Bird Song.

Impressive! (Cow has stinky smoke signals).

'What's the night life-like?

"It's all about the milk."

"She's at that age where she wants to know what pails are for."

The countryside haircut gets quite the haircut at this time of year, doesn't it?

Stick with me, Mr. Fusco

'I'm going to stop coming here -it's completely lost it's fresh, country atmosphere!'

"Excuse me, have you seen a large gent with a red coat and face to match."

Irrigation or recreation?: 'You sould have been here yesterday, they were really biting.'

'Hey Wayne!'