Country Sheepdog T-Shirts

"I've realized it's cruel to keep a dog in a big city. I'm transferring you to scranton."

"Well, I'll miss him, but all his friends are backpacking Europe to herd sheep this summer, too."

"It seemed like miles to me!"

"Here we go again. Look at me everybody....I'm a cloud."

Sheep Ledger

YONDER...next 347 miles.

No need to be concerned, madam! I'm wrapped in cotton wool!

"Static cling."

"Your shepherd, Louie, has retired. I'm Mr. Smathers. I will be your grazing-resource coördinator and flock welfare-and-security manager."

'Sorry lady, can't help you: Yes, I can herd pretty much anything, but not cats, and certainly not kittens...'

'You're suffering from job-stress insomnia. Stop counting sheep to fall asleep.'

"You can always count on me."

"Why do you call the new sheepdog Bra?"

The Uterus in the form of a Ewe

"Any qualifications other than speaking the language."

"Don't stress. My philosophy has always been 'ewe be ewe.''"

Objects in mirror bear no relation to reality.

A Gated Community.

A cow ventriloquist.

'They used to be called sheep, and they produced wool. Now they're some sort of bioengineered creatures, and they produce antibiotics.'

"He's been like that ever since he stopped eating the stuff and began smoking it."

'Nonsense! They can't All have headaches.'

Even cowgirls get the blues. 'Well, howdy! I've been lookin' for this here B.B. King album forever!'

First there were virtual-pets. Now there are virtual owners and ranchers.

A sheep ordering in a restaurant - the sole item on the menu is grass.

'I'd kill for concrete.'

"Yeah, I won the Finest Quality Wool award, but it was a tough competition: There were contestants from all over Australia and New Zealand..."

Sheepdog Security

'He's so clever he's learning a second language!'

'Aside from a crazed sheep now and then, this is a very risk-free profession.'

Speed Limit 5 MPH. Enforced by Sheep.

Sheep Escalator

Lambo

"The downside of living in the wild is that I need to shear myself now. Boy, do I now appreciate the skill professional shearers have: it's hard!"