Country Road Cruiser T-Shirts

"I'd better get a hit country song out of growing up this way."

'3 Second Loading Zone.'

'Do you know the way to San Jose without breaking into a Bacharach number?'

The Slug Replaces the Cheetah as the Fastest Animal on Earth.

Mountain bikes and molehill bikes.

YONDER...next 347 miles.

French Early Bird

'It's St Patrick's Day...I thought you called this car your lucky charm??!'

No need to be concerned, madam! I'm wrapped in cotton wool!

"I'm going to be late... my driverless car is stick behind an autonomous tractor."

"Balance is essential, Ray. For example, this week, my life is purpost-driven, and I'll follow that with seven days of aimless drifting!"

"I'm looking for a car with backseat performance."

Spinner luggage is fast becoming the city walker's, walking companion of choice. There's no stopping, no mess, nor butt sniffing, with the added bonus that it comes with you when you go on holidays. . ."

"Over the river and through a ridiculous detour that has us in the middle of who-knows-where, to Grandfather’s house we go!"

'I realize you love my boat, but you've been on it for nearly a month now. Do me a favor and go home.'

Playboy has rigged his car with a loveseat

'Mom, when will we be mooving?'

'My wife insisted I stop and ask someone for directions. Could you just pretend you're giving them to me?'

Sports car.

Now Entering Wyoming (or one of those other rectangular states that are out west someplace).

Mount Rushmore waves back to tourists.

Employee Parking. The only way my boss practices "top-down" management is by driving a convertible.

Mildred takes a shortcut to the shops. . .

Slow, merge left, resume speed, stop, stay, sit, roll over, good boy!

'It's very nice, but it's not really me. Do you have any of those little round, hollow, plastic balls?'

'Top dog or not, you gotta slow down.'

Moo! Honk! Don't stoop to their level Henry!

Johnny Cashpoint.

Heart of America or Bypass

"With my handicap I can park just about anywhere I want to!"

"Ar well, if I was 'ee I wouldn't start from 'ere."

Witch with a mobile home on her broomstick.

'Stop complaining. We can't afford a car with airbags.'

'What's your fish finder say?'

Caution: Stuff and things next 4 miles