Country Living Fan Pillows

"Don't panic Daisy dear. You can relax your buttocks, it's not the vet, it's the chimney sweep."

'You're stampeding yourself! You're stampeding yourself!'

'I thought you said you'd done this before.'

Man who has lost the hunt mistakes a gentleman's shooting dogs for some of the hounds.

"I have a sweet pad and thirteen girlfriends. Can't beat a chicken's life."

'Aaah! All haltered and ready for me!...

She's just asking for a good 'milking'!

A chicken coop goal.

'Oh, so you think of her as the DOWN PAYMENT on my car,,,'

"Don't you love to watch the starlings roosting in the evening light?"

'Come on children, last one out's a rotten egg.'

Last Chance for Everything.

"Smell? What smell?"

"Mine has a terrible battery life."

"I don't know how many there are... whenever I count them, I fall asleep."

"Black or white, Vicar?"

'Life is great' down on the farm.

A cat has caught a cow which it is dragging through it's cat flap.

I'm prepared to admit that you may have startled me a bit, sure!

'Cock-a-doodle-do!'

'Boy, watch out for that pursestring suture!'

Country Bumpkin.

French wine

It’s God’s country, if your God wears camouflage and dips tobacco.

Bill and Lester have a 'Hay Day'.

Well... Tis the season to be jolly!

High Riders of the Old West

"They’re real."

I fart more than that!

"I won't be in today. I've decided to live off the land."

"...and she said 'MOO!'"

'I want to immortalise the area in a painting before it is changes for ever.' (Artist is scooped up by a digger.)

"You were the one who thought it was too dangerous to raise a child in the big city."

I wouldn't mind so much, but it's all junk mail.

"Westminster's over, Shep-it's all about possums now."