Country Dancing Pillows

'Do you smell something burning?'

"Do-si-do, I said! DO-SI-DO!"

Scot country dancing,

Scotsman playing the fiddle.

"This is my new country song I wrote about my self-driving truck leaving me..."

'Cock-a-doodle-do!'

Songs about Texas, next 1100 miles.

"It's God's country, if your god wears camouflage and dips tobacco."

Bashful in Nashville

'I took your advice and got a long little doggy.'

"Obi-Wan Kenobi. You're our only hope."

'I can't write cheating songs because my wife's too insecure.'

Elvis Presley

"I'm putting you on country music."

"I'll be broadminded up in heaven, but here on earth you're still a whore..."

'I'll never forget the night I saw you across the crowded room of a dusty ol' honky tonk.'

'Woke up this morning found someone had stolen my guitar...'

For every moment in life there is a song that describes it perfectly.'

"This is Kevin. Kevin was uncool before uncool was cool."

The return of Miss Subways

"The harmonica! Boy you're lucky, my cowboy plays the double-bass! I tell you what, it's a pretty awkward thing to carry around..."

"Well of course you're depressed... You're a country and western singer."

A-Hem! I'm still singing here!

"I came all the way from Alabama just to see you, Susanna. Why in tarnation are you cryin'?"

Supply was out of harps.

"And now, Bach's Brandenburg Congerto Number One, first movement."

Hip-Hopalong Billy Bob blamed the censors for killing the country-rap scene.

'The grass is always bluer to a banjo pickin bovine!'

Lawyers Ridin' The Range: 'Happy trials to you, until we meet again!'

Where the deer and the antelope play.

"Not tonight, hon—I've got a heartache."

Cowpunk

Ray Price, Willie Nelson, Merle Haggard

Music from the moon.

Here's a little number I wrote from bitter personal experience...