Country Tune Enthusiast Pillows

'Cock-a-doodle-do!'

Songs about Texas, next 1100 miles.

"It's God's country, if your god wears camouflage and dips tobacco."

Bashful in Nashville

'I took your advice and got a long little doggy.'

'I can't write cheating songs because my wife's too insecure.'

"I'm putting you on country music."

'I'll never forget the night I saw you across the crowded room of a dusty ol' honky tonk.'

"I'll be broadminded up in heaven, but here on earth you're still a whore..."

For every moment in life there is a song that describes it perfectly.'

A newspaper stand in a rural area.

'You had me at OOOO-AARRR!'

'Woke up this morning found someone had stolen my guitar...'

Towny Music Night.

"This is Kevin. Kevin was uncool before uncool was cool."

"It's bad, Doc. the voices in my head are singing country western."

"Well of course you're depressed... You're a country and western singer."

A Modern Day Cowboy and his Horse.

"The harmonica! Boy you're lucky, my cowboy plays the double-bass! I tell you what, it's a pretty awkward thing to carry around..."

Supply was out of harps.

Hip-Hopalong Billy Bob blamed the censors for killing the country-rap scene.

Where the deer and the antelope play.

'The grass is always bluer to a banjo pickin bovine!'

The Invention of Country Music.

'This next song is called Reindeer farts in my face all night.'

"Not tonight, hon—I've got a heartache."

Music from the moon.

Here's a little number I wrote from bitter personal experience...