Counting Connoisseur Gifts

The Count of Monte Cristo

"I miscounted."

'1,2,3 4,5,6 7,8,9...'It's the little things that count.(little figurines counting).

"You call this a constitution?"

No caption. (Man wearing a cast is in traction. He imagines sheep lining up to jump fence. Sheep also wear casts.)

The Personal ATM

S**t Threw a Goose

'Guess who made a bushel today?'

'I forgot the question.'

NASA Hits Shuffle

Tomato's, Cucumber's, Apostrophe's.

" . . . and white, not yellow. Block, not shredded. Aged, but not too aged that it doesn't slice well."

"I was really impressed by the way you sent back the wine, though it did come in second to the waiter's uppercut."

"Just one question...how on earth do I get down?!"

Clock Face Golf Set

Old man fighting against time with an arm wrestle.

At Mary Higgins Clark's book club.

"Mr. Reagan, do you swear to tell the truth..."

Ask Mr. Buck: Financial Advisor. "Dear Mr. Buck, Why do so many people have trouble with their finances?" Money talks, but it does not give directions. (Published previously on Nov. 15, 2004.)

"With this app, I can track my savings. It counts cash, categorizes cash, and calculates cash interest."

'I don't know much about art, but I know what I like.'

Stock marketeers shooting each other playfully with guns full of money

'How about if we choose teams based on who has the coolest stamp collection.'

'Now we come to what it would have been worth'

'Oh yeah, well your dad may have a better calculator, but my dad can add without one.'

"If you're going to grub for something, it might as well be money."

' I hear she was quite the collector...'

'Your baseball card has more value than you do.'

"...And when the world economy collapses, we all stand up and take over! Agreed?"

The Priceless Ming Vase Relays.

"I gave him 'the old one two' just like you told me to. But then he gave me 'the old three four'."

"That's a nice little book. It didn't waste too much of my time."

'You're not really into this, are you Mahoney?'

"Just how rare? The first print run of this book, in 1935 was just 6 copies and we're still waiting for one of those to sell...."

'He's from Goldman Sacks.'