Counterfeit Caper Pillows

"The lettuce I paid with was fresher than the lettuce I bought."

"Projectile hairballing."

Mother to son, regarding stolen cake: 'I don't need to check anything with 'the boys in forensics' I know it was you.'

Monosyllabic Crisis Center

"Hey, guys I found a way out."

"So which one of you pesky dogs stole the last cookie from the bottom of the jar?"

'Sorry. Your accident insurance doesn't cover that kind of incident.'

'You made me jump,'

"Target in range. Ready... hug."

STRIP Hambone: This one's a great little number cruncher!

"Now that the playground's thawed, let's welcome back Mary Redmond, Sarah Turpin, and Hector D'Amico."

Cookie Thief

Hungry rabbit attacking carrot nose of snowman.

'Police. We have reason to believe you've been hacking into your neighbor's computers and stealing their recipes.'

'The veterinarian made brushing his teeth sound so easy.'

'If you were a carp where would you go?'

'Keep an eye out for the cookie police.'

Bad Dog!

'I want you to hack into our competitor's computer systems and steal their recipe for apple crisp.'

Ice Cream Lover

'The house has been repossessed by the Devil ...'

'It didn't start out this way.'

A Cat is Kicked Out of A Yarn Shop.

"We keep getting billed from DoorDash. Who here has been ordering all this food?"

"Sure I did it out of spite, but I want to make it look like an accident."

Cat muggers wait for a fisherman.

'I stole a guy's identity, but the dude had a longer rap sheet than mine!'

Another Bloody Cookery Show

Servant boy caught with his mouth full of food

'There you are dear - I was just telling Mr. and Mrs. Mumby about our little game of trying to have a bath during the commercials.'

'Look, no matter what happens, if anybody asks, I was here with you the whole night.'

'Fooling-around-with-strange-chemicals-during-a-break rota.'

'Bad dog!!'

Fridge Pirate