Countdown Captain Gifts

Next years calendar.

Anesthesiology class, day one: 'OK, count backward from 100...'

Rocket Launch Control Centre Back in 10,9,8,7,6,5,4,3,2,1

"I think I've figured out why we can't find the marina."

Captain in a storm

'If we get out of this alive, I'm going to have a darn good look at your resume.'

"Sorry, Rick, but no thongs means no thongs."

'Well, it wasn't my lucky day... first there was that shark and then I bimped into a bunch of beaver!'

Welsh airport arrivals.

'Trust me, you're not going to need an alarm clock.'

'I like to greet the new team members myself.'

Captain looks out of a porthole and notices that the ship is sinking.

Great doing business with you. I look forward to next year.

"The Captain really, really hates losing at shuffleboard."

"I can't believe it...school starts in two weeks!"

"This crew gets 15 miles to the pound of gruel. They're very fuel efficient."

It became increasingly difficult for the captain to reward his crew and still maintain his ferocious reputation.

"How can you feel queasy, we're barely out of port."

'Only another thirty-four years, five months and fourteen days until I retire.'

Captain Ahab (Ret.)

"5...4...3...2..."

"A storm rages from the East - tell the men to get below and snuggle up for movie night."

Verbal Orders

What really happened on the EVER GIVEN

'Captain, there's someone pissing in the hold!'

NASA Hits Shuffle

Solemn Reference is Made to Mr Bunsby

The crew can no longer tolerate Captain Bligh's ruthless splitting of infinitives."

"Get those decks cleaned you swabs!..."

"At ease!"

"Looks like a storm ahead, Captain." "I think you're being over dramatic."

"Sorry, Captain, but we have to let you go. You just lack leader-ship skills."

Help! Trapped on a desert island cartoon...

'So it's true that dolphins help navigate.'