Countdown Captain Pillows

Next years calendar.

Anesthesiology class, day one: 'OK, count backward from 100...'

Rocket Launch Control Centre Back in 10,9,8,7,6,5,4,3,2,1

"I think I've figured out why we can't find the marina."

Captain in a storm

'Frank built it himself. The last football will fall through the hourglass 10 seconds before the Super Bowl starts.'

"Sorry, Rick, but no thongs means no thongs."

No caption. (Man wearing a cast is in traction. He imagines sheep lining up to jump fence. Sheep also wear casts.)

'Well, it wasn't my lucky day... first there was that shark and then I bimped into a bunch of beaver!'

'If we get out of this alive, I'm going to have a darn good look at your resume.'

Welsh airport arrivals.

'Trust me, you're not going to need an alarm clock.'

Captain looks out of a porthole and notices that the ship is sinking.

'I like to greet the new team members myself.'

"This crew gets 15 miles to the pound of gruel. They're very fuel efficient."

"Awwwk! Mutiny is a go! Pass it on! Awwk!"

"I can't believe it...school starts in two weeks!"

Great doing business with you. I look forward to next year.

"The Captain really, really hates losing at shuffleboard."

It became increasingly difficult for the captain to reward his crew and still maintain his ferocious reputation.

"How can you feel queasy, we're barely out of port."

'Only another thirty-four years, five months and fourteen days until I retire.'

Captain Ahab (Ret.)

'Captain, there's someone pissing in the hold!'

What really happened on the EVER GIVEN

"5...4...3...2..."

"A storm rages from the East - tell the men to get below and snuggle up for movie night."

Verbal Orders

NASA Hits Shuffle

Solemn Reference is Made to Mr Bunsby

The crew can no longer tolerate Captain Bligh's ruthless splitting of infinitives."

"Get those decks cleaned you swabs!..."

Help! Trapped on a desert island cartoon...

'So it's true that dolphins help navigate.'

"Looks like a storm ahead, Captain." "I think you're being over dramatic."