Counselor Admirer Gifts

'The hounds had me wounded and cornered: Of course I got angry!'

'Now what brings you lovely people here?'

"I recommend that you two find a way to spice up your shelf life."

"Each order comes with 10 minutes of free guilt counseling."

'I prefer the term 'whistleblower' to tattletale.'

"Freud doesn't work for you, so I', going to try some Dr. Anthony Fauci..."

"You're completely screwed up."

"My brother thinks he's a chicken... He's crazy."

'Mona Lisa, would it make you happy if I gave you a foot massage every night?'

"There! Now we're getting somewhere."

"I just feel like I'm constantly disappointing parents everytime I appear on report cards."

"Tell me more about your imposter syndrome."

Couple beyond prayer - need divine intervention.

'Typical bloody man, you've no idea what loyalty means...it's just self, self...self!'

Personal Relationship Counsellor

'So, when did you first realise that you fancied me rotten?'

"The words 'complete screwball' are not in my vocabulary."

"Of course, a dog's bowl is a good source of food, and yes, the dog will bark at you but it can't stop you from stealing the food..."

"Gorg, you've got to let yourself evolve!"

'First, I'll give you my side of the story...then, the wimp will give you his...'

"After 20 years of marriage, don't you think it's time you stopped calling your husband 'that Harold person'?"

'My wife doesn't understand me.'

'I know we're supposed to be Lovebirds, but a bit of privacy from time to time would be nice...'

"Last week, when I was telling you about my Lou Ferrigno dream, were you fighting off a yawn? Do you go to therapy? What would you do if I touched your ear? Yes or no—am I insane?"

"Let's stop for a second while my assistant brings me a stiff drink."

I always felt I should have been born into royalty, Doctor Kapuchnik. If it's any consolation, Al, you're a royal pain.

So, when did I realize I was a control freak, doc?…

Weight of the world on your shoulders.

He's crying again. Should he see a therapist?

'I think Mr. Teddy's getting too dependent on me.'

'It's not just his insane jealousy - he also insists on choosing all my clothes.'

'Do you ever communicate as a family by just speaking?'

You've got to admire his spunk.

'It's all right. You're allowed to get up on this couch.'

'I thought being married to a rodeo clown would be more fun.'