Marriage Counselor Admirer Gifts

"You complain when my toenails are too long, then you complain when I trim them!"

"It's truly remarkable, Louis, thirty-seven years next Tuesday and never a cross word between us."

"Trying to auction me won't work!"

'We invested everything we had in our marriage.'

'I now pronounce you man and wife, you now may kiss you sweet little bachelor butt goodbye.'

As long as there are husbands, we'll get our's money's worth!

'....Till death do you part, don't say I didn't warn you.'

Nothing to say! Wouldn't wanna hear about it anyway!

Love Birds love just being together

'...better or worse...better or worse...better or worse...'

No, they're not divorced --- She said that's her "ox-husband."

'There you go again...constantly snagging!'

'No, there isn't a probationary period!'

'My outer self loves your inner self, but my inner self can't stand your outer self.'

The golfer apologized for all his affairs. The governor regrets all his affairs. So does the former presidential candidate. I don't get the abstinence until marriage idea. Shouldn't it be abstinence AFTER marriage?

So all is not rosy in the garden?

'Sharing the same skin-type is fine. But, as a basis for a stable marriage...'

Mrs Cat waiting for Mr Cat coming home late.

Kindly readers, our resident counselor, Sadie Cohen, will be answering actual questions sent to her via email. Prepare to get an earful of wisdom! Dr. Sadie, I am in a relationship with a beautiful woman who I wish to marry but am still reeling from my first marriage scares me. How do I get over that fear? Signed, Fearful in Salt Lake City. Fear is a worthless emotion. It doesn't help at all. What you should be feeling is terror. Run for your life.

"I'm the lot of baggage he comes with."

"After 20 years of marriage, don't you think it's time you stopped calling your husband 'that Harold person'?"

"This is a good start! You both agree that the marriage needs some new spark!"

Gender Symbols

Apply to marry multi-marriage failure.

"I love marriage...It's my husband I hate."

'It'll get better, Vinny - my marriages always have a bad first quarter.'

'...I now pronounce you man and wife, for whatever that's worth these days.'

"Yes, this is exactly how wars start—because of someone's insensitivity!"

Hats and Greetings

'I'm not the sitting tenant, I'm your husband.'

"I married for contrast."

Man sleeps instead of reading 'The Art of Listening.'

"I agreed to 'for better' and 'for worse,' but never to 'for mysterious' and 'withholding'."

"Well, Pook, here's to one old marriage that just won't go away."

"Why, it's a little piece of red yarn! Oh Harold, you always know JUST what to get me."