Counsellors Gifts

The secret of living happily ever after....Do it alone.

'Ignore me, it's just my nut allergy.'

"I find myself correcting people a lot lately."

My therapist once said people like that are often... Therapist?! What if she's some kind of nutter??

"You can't possibly know how I feel. Everybody likes you."

'So you're having visions and hearing voices - I'd say you're either really really mad or really really religious.'

Free Associating.

'What? You want me to pay you $500 per hour? Do you think I'm crazy?'

'I understand your divorce proceedings are sports-related.'

'My good memory is a curse: There are things I would like to forget...'

Counselling Cash.

"My granddaughter's first words to me were 'OK, Boomer.' I have no idea what that even means."

"Tell me about this fear of couches."

"Soul searching? Yes, you could call it that."

'I have this fear of the real world...'

Kiosk in large lobby with sign above it labeled 'Empathy'.

"We have three house blends: 'One More Chance', 'Forget About It' or 'I'll See You In Fun Court'."

'My name's Google and I'm being inundated with requests for information about every damn thing imaginable, by people I don't even know...It's endless!'

'...I already have 26 cats, why not 27...'

'Look, you can only do so much!'

'The meaning of communinication is the response we get'

'The BOSS sent me down to help rebuild your faith.'

Licensed Therapist

"I dunno, I guess I just don't believe in myself anymore."

"This is nice … let’s not hop again tomorrow."

"Have you tried binge-watching a show together?"

'You've got bats alright...now we'll just have to determine what kind.'

"My emotional support dog ate my comfort food."

Their marriage in jeopardy, Strawberry Shortcake and Billy Bob Banana Bread seek therapy.

America, are we learning anything?

"In lieu of a pre-nup we decided just to label everything."

Bob had to confront his fear of butterflies.

"I invited a few friends over who think you should see a psychiatrist."

"I bought it off the therapist who's helping me kick my compulsive shopping disorder."

"Stepping on the gown never works. They run faster without it."