Counsellor Gifts

'I see. So what you're saying is that you woke up this morning and your woman had done left you.'

"Have you tried taking long walks?"

'Why can't they call it a deer, or a squirrel market?'

"You're doing a great job as a corporate psychiatrist, but would you please keep your hands off the workaholics."

'I could kill for a good cup of coffee now.'

'I beleive I have a new approach to psychotherapy, but, like everything else, the FDA tells me it first has to be tested on mice.'

"It all began with trying to measure project outcomes."

'My child has an eating disorder. She likes vegetables.'

In-tray, Out-tray, While you were on holiday-tray

'Actually, I became a psychiatrist because the voices told me to.'

"Why do I feel so angry about feeling guilty about feeling embarrassed about feeling scared?"

"I'm under a lot of pressure at work."

'He said I'm a horse's ass.'

Hall of Fame.

'If you're not busy....any chance of a coffee ?'

"I ain't nothing but a hound dog & I keep crying all the time."

"No, just hear him out. Maybe we are being too defensive."

"Some days I feel fine. Other days I feel dandy. I never feel fine and dandy."

Roland, the schizophrenic cowboy.

"I also have trouble sleeping. I don't understand why. No one I talk to seems to have any trouble falling asleep."

Well, whenever I lose MY sense of identity, I Google myself.

"You're putting up too many walls Hadrian."

"Things don't seem so bad since I started drinking heavily."

Sigmund Freud, Massage Therapist

'I'm sick and tired of being kicked around.'

'I'm prescribing a ticket for a feel-good movie of the year.'

'I want to be what I was, when I wanted to be what I am now.'

"My Therapist Can Beat Up Your Therapist."

'I find it difficult to switch off.'

The short attention span support group will be meeti...

"Tell me more about your imposter syndrome."

'I don't care what your chat group says. I say you're becoming overly dependent on technological gadgetry.'

'Let's start by getting a handle on your shyness.'

'There's been a change in my recurring nightmare. I'm no longer falling . . . my credit rating is.'

"He says I'm too clingy."