Counsellor Gifts

'I see. So what you're saying is that you woke up this morning and your woman had done left you.'

"Have you tried taking long walks?"

'Why can't they call it a deer, or a squirrel market?'

"You're doing a great job as a corporate psychiatrist, but would you please keep your hands off the workaholics."

"It all began with trying to measure project outcomes."

'I beleive I have a new approach to psychotherapy, but, like everything else, the FDA tells me it first has to be tested on mice.'

'My child has an eating disorder. She likes vegetables.'

In-tray, Out-tray, While you were on holiday-tray

'Actually, I became a psychiatrist because the voices told me to.'

"I'm under a lot of pressure at work."

'If you're not busy....any chance of a coffee ?'

Hall of Fame.

"No, just hear him out. Maybe we are being too defensive."

"Some days I feel fine. Other days I feel dandy. I never feel fine and dandy."

Roland, the schizophrenic cowboy.

"I also have trouble sleeping. I don't understand why. No one I talk to seems to have any trouble falling asleep."

Sigmund Freud, Massage Therapist

"Things don't seem so bad since I started drinking heavily."

"You're putting up too many walls Hadrian."

'I'm prescribing a ticket for a feel-good movie of the year.'

'I'm sick and tired of being kicked around.'

'First, you have to admit you have a gambling problem!'

"He says I'm too clingy."

'Spare me your psychobabble'

'What do you mean, we're incomapitble? We both like to fight.'

"Tell me more about your imposter syndrome."

"My Therapist Can Beat Up Your Therapist."

'We can't discuss anything fairly - He just keeps moving the goalposts!'

'There's been a change in my recurring nightmare. I'm no longer falling . . . my credit rating is.'

'Margaret. I feel that we must talk about our relationship.'

Patient and Psychiatrist, "My most traumatic moment was when I learnt that you charge more per hour than I do"

'...And he's always accusing me of manipulating him.'

'Right. Like I'd tell YOU.'

'I'm all ears.'

'I don't care what your chat group says. I say you're becoming overly dependent on technological gadgetry.'