Council Contract Chaser Gifts

'With the threat of ABS's competing for Council work is going to get even harder...'

'This is my partner. He'll be taking care of the small print.'

"Where are you guys going?" "We’re out of here!" "It’s October 28th!" "The new team are running late. We need you to stay until February 2025!" "But I’m tired!!" "How do we know they won’t bail on us again?"

Chicken soup for the adjunct professors soul

"A home recently sold in my neighborhood."

Man from refuse department says: 'We'll send you a new wheelie bin, Mrs Trubshaw, there's really no need to 'orchestrate a mass Twitter campaign'.'

Danger Falling Leaves

Unusual Offers

The Birth of a Lawsuit

Election slot machine. No matter the outcome, I always lose money.

"What's the best way to break up a marriage?"

'Let's run it through legal.'

"You may have been the victim of a mis-sold PFI contract..."

'Forget your two million pound recording contract. When are you going to get a steady job?'

Corporate Lawyers

'It's the council's flood defence system.'

Seasonal shopping.

Applications

"It doesn't mean you, Hickford!"

'Internet access... internet access....'

'Here - The Royal Safety Council said you have to wear this.'

'Ready for another roll of the dice?'

'The union told me what we could do with our contract proposal.'

Estate Agent Office

'His tags were so neat we decied to employ him'

Council tax inspector notes dog kennel: 'Clearly, this property has its own entrance.'

'Remind clients to come prepared for their initial consultation with documents, names, addresses, checkbook, credit cards, cash.'

Man's house has sign reading 'Sod the council'. His neighbour says: 'Frankly, I'm amazed you got planning permission.'

'Surely it is no longer legal to include 'deposit of your first-born child'?'

'I'd take that with a pinch of salt if I thought the council could spare any.'

'Well, the new contract appears to be a win-win, just not for physicians.'

"How's this? 'Employee grants to Company, throughout the universe, the omniverse, including all fictional universes of parallel universes yet to be discovered...'"

'Why 'fido'? Dog kennels do not need planning permission.'

Employee help

'Me? Running? Oh, for heaven's sake! Whatever gave you that idea?'