Couch Potato Swordsman Pillows

Using Fencing Foil to change TV channels.

'The History Channel is all reruns.'

"He's got no clue how easy he has it compared to his ancestors."

He's in training for the rugby World Cup.

"Let's go watch TV I hear there are bowl games on."

"Don't worry - I'm here for the television."

"Would you sit and watch a 12 hour movie?"

Needed Inventions: An Airbag To Protect The Viewer Against A Really Lousy Program.

Where the Appalachian Trail Crosses the Path of Least Resistance

"Well, the remote's not dowmn the back of the couch."

"The Bruins are down a goal. Do me a favor: Pretend you’re a Boston terrier."

"I'd go with you, but I'm a non-sporting breed."

"Doesn't seem like 6 hours on the couch, but you can't argue with a lethargy tracker."

'Do you realize that we're sitting in a prefabricated house, eating precooked dinners, and listening to Chris Matthews' opinions?'

"Boy, this blooper reel from 'Manchester by the Sea' is a crack-up."

"Well, at least it's an improvement from last night."

'It's midnight, do you know where your brain is?'

Love is when you watch television together.

'He usually doesn't follow medical advice, but when the doctor told him to learn to relax...'

"Clive used to be an astronaut."

'You don't want weather? Not a problem! How about sports, or maybe a nice movie? We can do that! Just put that thing down and let's talk, OK?'

"We'd better stock up on TV snacks in the event of war."

'The anger management is working... tonight there were fewer veins popping.'

Weatherman: "Tonight's weather forecast is confusing, followed tomorrow by downright bewildering."

"Er...nothing much has happened yet today...."

'Och lye the news'

"Blood pressure 210/140. Heart rate 185. Steps taken 29. Sedentary 9.5 hours. Calories burned 19. You da man! Oh, and you're out of pork rinds." "Our classics TV marathon featuring 'Gunsmoke' will continue after..." "The unfitbit"

"Would you get me a beer from the refrigerator? Just grab one of the cans on the top shelf. Come on, I do so much for you—all these years, the walks, the food, the chases... Come on! Never mind."

"You are still here."

Tunnel of TV

'Fixed the leg on the telly yet?'

"Let's finish off our night of being productive by starting another season."

Succession 2

'I don't do so much of the you-can't catch-me-I'm-the -gingerbread-man material these days...'

'Football...Beer...Popcorn...that is Bernie's Stimulus Package.'